Chapter 56

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Alex

Stone and cold. Like a tainted shell , hollow and useless I watch her body stir off, the thrust from my wrist was the cause, surprising us both.

A dull ache flares within me, warm and pulsing as I saw those grey eyes absorb the shock of the moment. Confused, angered and afraid. Those very eyes that I often thirsted to find solace and armor in.

And soon the dread in them exemplified mine, wringing my hand towards her, I tried to yank her back. My futile attempt meets the open air as I watch her fall, paralyzed to the core and weak to the bones.

It was too late.

The pliable splatter of water echoed, writhed and died when they greedily engulfed her small frame.

The static gush of gasp and jabbers that erupted like the unsettled bee hive circled the wind, it intensified and drowned the next second when I realized what I had done.

From somewhere afar I heard a voice scream, it sounded like Edmund. But at present I could seldom feel the presence of anything but transfixedly witness the aftermath, caused by the tattered and infernal soul of a boy, a parasite that was me.

I watched her struggle, I saw her get more convoluted by the water around her as her hands pummeled over and over to keep her head up.

As if an impulse of current passed through my body, it went rigid with realization.

She was drowning.

In a shift Edmunds words faintly but clearly rang over my ears as he hollers from still a distance, getting closer by the second.

"Alex, she can't swim"

It was all it needed for me to collect myself back from the trance of stupor, the next few seconds were a blur as shrugging the jacket off my shoulders I dived into the pool. The cold water elopes with my clothes and shoes as I swim towards her.

When I successfully get to her, I try to grab her frantically panicked arms, after few trails her finger curls over, clutching the front of my shirt in a desperate grip. I felt the kicks of her legs under the water as she used me as a stake to hoist herself up, but the action ended up weighing both of us down.

Immediately I circled my arms around her waist as I pulled her to me, when we broke the surface of water above us, both of our gasps intermixed as she snuggled tighter. Her rumpling hold still upon the fabric.

"Arms. Around my shoulder" I breath as she coughs, but followed my instruction religiously.

When we get to the edge I guide her hands to the deck of the pool, when she holds the bar I still don't let her go. Not until we were thoroughly out as she weakly crawls and turns over to sit coughing and breathing. Her eyes closed as the trills of water from our soaked cloths pools around us.

From the corner I see Edmund bring her a robe and wrap it around her shoulder as he mumbled some words of relief. But the slight shivers in her body never ceased, she was still not okay.

Gathering every ounce of strength as crushing guilt maneuvered over every sense of my existence I moved, stooping to be on her level as I ignored the lethal glare that Edmund was giving me.

He had every right to. I wish he would just knock me out enough to lead me into a euphoric belief that this night never happened. But he was too good to do that. Indeed he was way better than me. everyone was.

I hurt her for stating the truth. I was a bane, a damned portion of the memory that most wishes to forget. And I, no matter how much I strive. Could never change.

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