Two Broken Hearts

One last hug

I would do anything to hug him right about now. I would never let him go. I would never cry. I would never stop saying I love you. I would never tell him anything that would make him sad. I would be there. I would give him that kiss he always wanted. I would... I would do so many things to have held that moment with him. I would look into his eyes and never have had to look away. I would be there and he would have loved it. I would have loved it. Its 11/18/18. I am worried as hell.  My boyfriend send me a text saying..here let me copy and paste.  "IF anything ever happens to me (my name) I want you to now that  you are the love of my life that i would be nothing with out you. All this time we have been dating, these weeks and months have been the happiest of my whole entire life. Thank you baby. I love you so much. I would be nothing with out you."  He sent that yesterday at 3:20 in the evening. I was not home and i was busy so I couldn't see it. At 4:12 he sent me another one saying " I don't deserve you. you deserve someone better then me." I came home around 5:15. I texted him back saying "shut up you know you mean the world to me babe. I have told you this so many times." He hasn't answered. I cant see him. Its the weekend. My parents dont know we are dating. I am scared. I have sent him like 20 texts and counting since last night. I didn't cry last night. I sobbed i put a cloth in my mouth for noone to hear my screams. I was yelling please dont leave me. I was trying to tell myself that he would never do that. Right...? he hasn't answered. I wont be able to see him till tomorrow at school. I hope he goes. He is going threw major depression, I am to. If he dies, I die with him. I have told him i would. I told him, that if he ever died i would be right behind him. He is the only light in my dark world right now, i wont live without him. I will update tomorrow on this. When i see him.....I hope i see him. I am praying that he will be alive.  The last thing i did physical with him was Friday. I hugged him and told him to sneak on my bus. He had been crying during our last period in school. Science. I told him i loved him and then he left once he hugged me and said i love you more. 

I will update tomorrow. He wont answer my texts im going mad.