All For You

Chapter One: Awkward?

"Don't you get it?! All I want is for you to love me!" "I do love you! You know that!" "I don't believe you!" I walked away crying. I didn't think that I would be this hurt. He kept screaming my name, but I didn't turn around. I couldn't. BANG. BANG. The next thing that I saw really broke my heart. "Ahhh!" SPLAT. "Ugh, it was just a dream." Rafael came running inside and found me on the floor. "Emma are you okay?! I heard you scream!" "Calm down, it was just a dream." "It sounded more like a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?" "No its okay." I climbed into bed and Rafael laid next to me and held me. I felt safe in his arms, and he knew it. "What do you want to do today?" "Um, I'm not sure." "I'm all yours." "Will my dad be home?" "No, and neither will your stepmom." "Well then, I guess probably just lay around the house. I'm not really in the mood to do much of anything." "Okay, sounds perfect. I'm going to go make breakfast. Waffles?" "Yeah sounds good." He kissed my forehead and left the room. I decided to go on my computer for a little while. Actually, in reality, I was only on Pinterest. About 30 minutes went by before I could smell the breakfast, so I willingly got up out of bed, changed my clothes, and went downstairs. The minute I walked downstairs, Rafael almost burnt the pancakes. "What?" I asked shyly. "N-nothing. You just look...really beautiful." I couldn't help but smile. We sat down and ate breakfast. Not much was talked about, just some small talk here and there. We decided to go swimming because it was a nice day for it. I of course got to the pool first, so I figured that I would tan and wait for Rafael to come outside. I have always loved tanning by the pool and the ocean when its sunny out. It's peaceful and relaxing. After about 10 minutes, Rafael walked outside and I couldn't help but stare. He had a nice body. Actually, it wasn't nice. It was perfect. He had a nice toned shape. It took me a minute to snap out of it, but I quickly noticed him staring at me. I blurted out, "Are you ready?" "Oh um yeah I just...you look..." "So do you." We both smiled and got in. For a while, the awkwardness was gone. It was just us, having fun. But the fun didn't last. He was about to do this trick that he has done with me since I was practically a baby. He was holding my waist and our laughing turned into looking in each others eyes and silence. Our faces got closer and closer until he kissed me. It was just one kiss until he pulled away, not sure what to say or do. I didn't know what to do either, but my brain took over and kissed him some more. He wrapped his arms around me and so did I. The kiss turned more passionately and the next thing I knew, we were on the lounge chair, him on top of me. All of a sudden, he pulled away. I sat up, unsure of what to do. Neither of us said anything for a while, until he finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry." "No, don't be sorry." "I am, because that should have never happened." I got up and left, with hurt in my eyes. "No, Emma. Wait!" I was so hurt and confused, that I went into my bathroom and cried. He kissed me, like that, and then looked at me like...that. He knocked on the door asking to talk. I ignored him. I did not want to talk to him. "Emma, please just..." I opened the door and walked past him. "Emma, it really isn't what you think!" "Oh really?!" "What?" I looked down. "You didn't know that that was my first kiss did you?!" "Emma, I didn't know. If I did, I never would have kissed you." He looked so hurt when he said that. "Then why let it happen!? Seriously Rafael! You have been in my life since I was a baby! You were there when I was born!" "I know. I didn't want to kiss you but..." "I'm going to change, please leave." He didn't even bother trying to say anything else, and just left. I cried while changing and just laid down. I didn't want to do anything. I was so heart broken. I had so many thoughts racing through my head, it was frustrating me. After about a half hour of crying and thinking, I decided to get up and get something to drink. And no, I am not going to tell you all about what happened. If you still want to know, then all I did was go into the kitchen, get some apple juice, pretzels, went back up to my room and put on netflix. I didn't realize how much time had gone by, and that I fell asleep, but I was woken up by my phone buzzing with texts from my friends, asking if I wanted to go out tonight. I didn't want to, but as soon as I saw Rafael standing in my doorway, I became angry and told them that I wanted to go out. Here's what happened next. Shower. Curled hair. Makeup. Sexy outfit. I was just about to walk downstairs when Rafael came into my room. "Emma...wow you look..." "Save it. I'm going out. And you are not coming with me." "Emma, you know I have to, its my job." "Didn't you hear me?! You are not going with me!" "Where are you going? To a club?" "Does it matter?" I started packing up my things. "You will not go out looking like that." "Lucky for you, I'm 18 and you are not the boss of me." I walked out of the house and got in the Uber with my friends and went to the club. The minute I stepped in that building, all I wanted to do was forget everything that happened tonight and get drunk. And that I did. 4 shots of whiskey and 4 martinis later, I ended up dancing on top of one of the tables. I don't remember much of what happened next, but the main thing I remember is Rafael carrying me up to my bed. "W-what are you doing?" "I'm taking you to your room so you can get some sleep." "Oh mr. confusing actually cares about me. Wow." "Will you stop? We will talk about this in the morning when you are a little more sober." He laid me down on my bed and proceeded to take my shoes off. "You look cute. Come and kiss me." He showed no emotion as he continued to take my other shoe off and go into my closet and pick out some PJ's. I got up out of bed onto unsteady feet just as he walked back into my room. "I know that you want to kiss me again. So just kiss me." He looked like he was trying so hard to not react to what was happening. You know how people call alcohol liquid courage? Well yeah, I would definitely not have the courage to do this if I was sober. I put my arms around him and pulled myself up to him and kissed him. At first he resisted, but I guess I eventually wore him down. "Emma, I know you don't want to do this, especially not in this state of mind." "Well that is my decision. So shut up and kiss me." He pulled me up in arms and again we were back in my bed, him on top of me, kissing. If I were to know what was going to happen next, I never would have done anything today. "EMMA! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!"