Falling for the enemy

Part 10.

Emma Swan:

It's been one full week since I even laid eyes upon her, I've been trying to stay very distant by locking myself in my rented apartment room, I've been skipping work, skipping calls and even avoiding Henry.

As you can imagine, this is all way too intense for my liking. I'm a girl that's quite reserved, I'm open and honest but I'm still a person that has feelings, a protected heart and I can't risk that being crushed, metaphorically and literally. I mean... I know regina would never do that, I'd trust her with my heart any day, but I don't trust myself with my heart, I can't allow these feelings to proceed.

I don't know how I'm ever going to get used to the fact that Snow White and Prince Charming are my parents, as a child everyone dreams of living a fairytale family life, but for me, this is real. Not to mention the fact that magic is existent, and seeing just blurs my fuzzy mind, I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. Also, what is the most scary, most threatening and most dangerous... true love.

I cannot allow my heart to be opening to everyone's sworn enemy. I have no right to hate Regina or fight against her, but everyone has the same story for her, even the book shows Regina as the evil queen that she claims she isn't anymore, but again I'm stuck between truth and lies in this messed up town. I thought Regina was different, how can I like a person that everyone hates, let alone love.

Anyway, I've done wallowing my feelings and it's about time I head back to work, it's only a matter of time until I'll get kicked out of this apartment that granny has so kindly offered, I need to work in order to pay.

Therefore, today I head to work arriving at 7:00am, with two hot cocoas for David and I. I could only imagine half of the things on his mind and half of the things he wants to say, I guess soon enough is the time to talk with my 'parents'. I can't keep them locked away, I'm sure they want answers because I know I do.

I arrive at the station before David. I like to be early, catch up on work I've missed this week. Normally the station opens at 7:30 so David shouldn't be too long now.

My palms grow slick with sweat as time ticks away, maybe facing David this soon is a bad idea. 7:28 and David comes strolling down the hallway whistling. Shit, here we go.

"Oh... Emma" he jumps slightly not expecting me to be sat here. "I didn't think you'd be in today, how are you?" He asks, more like a boss than a father at this moment of time, but I'm sure he's just trying to be nice to begin with to ease my present and clear nerves.

"I can't miss work boss" I say on autopilot realising how much that statement must crush him, he's not my boss. He's my dad.

"Look Emma..." he begins but I'm already raising my hand to silence him. I can't be listening to this so early in the morning, it's too chaotic and I'd much rather speak with Mary Margaret and David together. His mouth snaps shut from my gesture allowing me to talk.

"After work, I'll stop by your loft house, Mary Margaret, you and I can all sit down and discuss whatever the hell this is and what's going on" I state flicking through files seeming unaffected by this pain. He nods enthusiastically and smiles widely like this is all he has ever wanted, he has hope.

This is agonising. I've spent 26 years just hoping for the perfect family. I've been thrown in and out of different foster homes, even different group homes, I've been transferred to many different juvenile centres and even ditched by the people I love the most and least expect it from. Now I'm let into this fantasy world where I'm expected to believe that I'm the saviour created from the two purest hearts that share true love, I'm expected to believe that Snow White and charming is my mother and father. That the women I somewhat like is the evil queen that's raised and loved my own son for 10 years when I wasn't capable to. So yeah, it's safe to say I've experienced a handful of pain in my life to say the least.