"I spent most of my youth with him. He is all I know and I think that's where I made my first mistake," Beyonce told Dr.Chestnut, her therapist.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Why do you call it a mistake?" Dr. Chestnut asked her.
She fiddled with her fingers a bit and looked at her husband. He looked anxious to hear what she was going to say next. She knew that her words would offend him at least a bit but she didn't care. She had to tell the truth.
"Because I should have became my own person before I became his wife. All he's done is cheat on me and I feel like I should have experienced how it would feel to be loved by someone else," she said brutally.
She looked over at her husband again who looked pained. She saw the glossy look in his eyes and she knew that deep down he wanted to cry. He always assumed that she only would ever want him and never realized that she could easily go to another man. Who wouldn't want her? Her words made him realize for sure that she didn't know what it felt like to be loved deeply because he constantly betrayed her.
"Basically doctor I want to know a love that doesn't involve me hurting," she said, now tears in her eyes.
Loving Shawn seemed so natural. She had always loved him and felt like she always would. With all of that being said loving Shawn hurt. It hurt her to the pit of her stomach and made her body feel weak. Her heart ached constantly and she always felt drained. Every time he left out of the door she couldn't help but wonder if he would find himself in the arms of another woman.
"Shawn, how do you feel about what Beyonce just said?"
Shawn cleared his throat before he began speaking.
"What she said hurt me of course but I can't help but understand. I haven't been the man that she deserves and I deeply regret that. I just want her to be happy and I'll do anything to achieve that, even if it means I have to let her go," Shawn said, adding the last part in reluctantly.
"You're okay with me leaving Shawn?" Beyonce asked him.
He heard the hurt in her voice but she didn't understand what he meant.
"Definitely not. I'm just saying if we go through this and you feel like you can't stay Beyonce then I understand. I've done so much and I can't force you to stay where you are hurt. I know it's hard to believe but I don't want you hurt,"
"Well stop hurting me then!" she yelled at him.
"Okay you guys let's calm down a bit. I know you are hurt Beyonce but I want you both to try to process through your emotions without yelling,"
Beyonce took a deep breath and bit her lip. She felt as if she was going to explode and they hadn't even dove deep into their problems yet. Shoot, they barely touched the surface. Their whole marriage was filled with problems that got covered up with a beautiful facade. From the outside looking in they looked like the perfect couple.
