What Love Is | ✅

42 | P A I N

She wished she would have sang him to sleep when it was one of those nights where he was exausted yet couldn't even close his eyes because he could hear his own heart pounding in his chest.

She knew he had trouble sleeping some days because his mind was always preocupied with something; yet... she said nothing. Did nothing.

She wished she had not made him those coffees with the extra caffeine in them so that he wasn't jittery and nervous all day.

She wished a lot of things, but it was too late for them to come true. It was too late to fix them. It was too late to stop them.

Now she had to deal with the consequences. And so did he.

He did.

"River." Hayze's voice came from behind the door. "Hey pretty girl. I've got your water here. So, if you could just unlock the door i'll just pass it to you and then leave. I know you don't want to see me right now."

She shut her eyes and rested her head against the bathroom door as she felt her eyes well up with tears again.

"Are you crying?" He asked cautiously. "I know I hurt you. And I hate myself for it." She could hear a thump a bit higher above her head and she wondered if he was in the same position as she was. "I'll go to the pastry shop and get you as many sweets as you want babygirl. I'm going to get you a new pet, okay. I'll do anything. I just want you to feel better. I don't want to see you hurting. This doesn't take away any of the things i've done today - don't forget what I did. But.. just so that you feel better, i'll go and get something for you."

She shook her head at how sweet he sounded.

"Bella rosa? Are you there?

"Sì," she said quietly.

"I'm right here for you okay. I'll be right here outside this door as long as you're in there. If you want me to. Should I stay?"

"Sì." She pressed her lips together as the tears started trailing down her cheeks again. "Hayze," she whimpered

"Sì. Yes babygirl? What is it? How can I fix it?"

"It hurts," she cried as she slid down onto the floor, the cold floor chilling her damp body.

"Tell me what hurts," he said in a panicked voice.

"I-i don't know. Things just hu-hurt."

She closed her eyes and rested her head against the door as she heard something slide down the door and saw a shadow blocking the light flooding in from Hayze's room. It was Hayze sitting on the floor.

"I know. I am so sorry. Do you have something warm on? I don't want you catching a cold."

"No."

"Put on my robe, please," he said quietly.

She yanked it down from the hook on the door and wrapped it around her, immediately sinking into its warmth.

It smelled strongly of Hayze and his manly shower gel that reminded her of the cold winter nights where he'd come home from work and make her his famous hot chocolate before opening the curtains in the living room so that they could cuddle on the couch and watch the snow fall. She'd always snuggle closer to his chest and sniff his scent before taking a sip of her delecious, rich hot chocolate. It was one of River's favorite things to do.

Now, she just wanted to cry.

°•○●○•°

River groaned as she felt somethig hit her head.

"Merda. Babygirl, i'm so sorry."

She cracked her eyes open and and then quickly shut them when she felt her her head begin to ache.

"Silly girl. You slept on the bathroom floor."

She groaned and shifted her sore body. "How did you get in here?"

"I have a key," he said as he picked her up carefully.

She tensed in his arms and immediately regretted it when his strong muscles tensed as well.

"I didn't m-"

"It's okay," he whispered. "You have every right."

He gently lay her on his bed and she sighed in releif when she realized he had already changed the sheets.

"Do you want your panda?"

"Yes please," she said as she turned away from him.

Her panda was something Hayze had found was good to give her after he had just made love to her. Because she was so clingy and vunerable afterwards, having the panda there helped her to relax when he couldn't be there to hold her afterwards.

He went into his walk in closet and grabbed the soft, fluffy panda before gently placing it next to her.

She immediately grabbed it and pulled it in close to her chest and subtly sniffed it. It smelled of Hayze before he was stressed.

If that was even a smell.

"Should I leave you in here by yourself?" He asked hesitantly. "Actually, i'll go. I'll just have Blue come in here and keep you company, sì?"

"Okay," she said hoarsly.

A few minutes later Blue was lifted into the bed beside her and Hayze was gone and River was left with a fractured heart.

This wasn't what love was.

Hayze himself had taught her love shouldn't hurt, but that night, it did.

Why hadn't he just talked with her?