What Love Is | ✅

42 | P A I N

River could see this was only going to be a one time thing, it was clear.

The guilt would consume Hayze and eat away at his insides before he even begged her to have sex again.

Nico had shown guilt the first time. But it was out of his own interests. He wasn't worried about if she was okay. He was worried about her leaving him behind.

Hayze was worried about her well being. Things were different.

He cared enough to take the time and make sure she understood that what he had done wasn't right.

She thought of how he had told her he loved her in Italian and she couldn't even say it back. Not anymore she couldn't.

The very thought made her choke back a sob of anguish.

She snapped back into reality when she felt his large hand on her cheek. "If you need to cry, just cry okay. I know I f~cked up," he whispered as he gently wiped away the tears silently running down her face.

The way he used her body because he was stressed made her feel like that was the only reason he showed so much interest in her. But then again, nothing was spectacular about her body.

She was short. Her hips were okay. Her breasts were small. Her butt was plump and her thighs were toned. Some days her stomach was toned, other days she was bloated and it stuck out a bit. She wasn't anything special, so why did he care so much?

"You love me?"

"Sì. I do."

She smiled softly at him before sinking further down into the water to hide the fact that a lump was growing in her throat again.

"I promise you this won't ever happen again. I don't know what got into me," he sighed as he toyed with the black and gold wedding band on his finger. "I promise.. I know for a fact i'll never hurt you like that again. There's no way I could even think about something like this without feeling sick.."

She didn't answer him. Instead she just closed her eyes and tried to hold back the tears.

"Are you sure you're okay. Can I get you anything?" He asked softly as he massaged her head, running his fingers through the top of her wet hair.

River had asked him those same questions only hours before. And Hayze hadn't answered him.

She was planning to the do the same. But it didn't last long.

"A-actually, can you get me a glass of water? Please."

"Yeah of course. I'll be right back."

As soon as he was gone, she burst into tears. Her body shook with quiet sobs and the water rippled around her as she cried in heart break.

Everything was so unfair.

What he had done had just hit her like a semi-truck. And there was no taking it back.

There was only trying to move forward.

River climbed out the tub and was careful not to slip as she trailed water over to the door. She grabbed a small dark purple towel and wrapped it around her. She stared at the door knob and then locked it. She wanted to be alone.

She hugged herself as she began to cry again, the memories of him begging to be inside of her flashing through her head.

She cursed at the fact that he had made her come four times. Even after she pleaded with him to talk with her. To let her listen to him.

But he didn't seem to hear her.

River had seen the stress lines taking form on his handsome face and she wished she could go back in time and instead of staying silent, she wished she would have rubbed his shoulders and told him things would be alright.