Young Blood ⏤ Ponyboy Curtis | ✓

04 | outsider

Billie grips her backpack straps tightly as she watches her peers walk out of school. She fidgets skittishly, moving from foot to foot, waiting for Angela to come so she could leave where she was under cautious eyes from the Socs.

She is standing beside the school's front steps and accidentally makes eye contact with a Soc who is walking down the steps. Billie can see her eyes widen slightly before she looks away and joins in the conversation with her other Soc friends. Billie recognises her as Cynthia, the girl she sits next to in English class. Billie knows she is afraid of her. She sits as far as she can from Billie, leaning dangerously to the far side of her desk that Billie thinks if she moved she would fall off the chair. Billie sees her tense up when Billie answers a question that Mr Symes has asked her and Billie has to stop herself from looking affected by it. Showing emotion is a weakness. A weakness she can't afford, not with the size of her target placed on her back.

Billie doesn't know what the time is. Wearing a watch isn't a luxury her and her siblings can afford. They usually rely on the sun to tell the time, but Billie hadn't picked up the skill like the rest of her siblings had. She remembers Tim's exasperated sigh when Billie gave him the incorrect time yet again. Billie was ten at the time, and she remembers the sinking feeling in her stomach as Curly had gotten the correct time yet again. That was one of the first times Billie felt like an outsider in her own family.

Billie keeps her head down, focusing on her ratty tennis shoes; a hand-me-down from Angela once she outgrew them. Billie doesn't want another awkward encounter with a Soc. Especially the ones that were afraid of her. Somehow they were worse than the ones that hated her.

"Billie." She looks up and sees Steve Randle looking down at her from the school steps, Ponyboy Curtis and Two-Bit Mathews behind him. Ponyboy looks down and Billie wonders if it was because of his comment yesterday. A small part of Billie hopes it was.

Billie looks back at Steve, who is still looking at her with a concerned expression on his face. Billie finds it unsettling, as she has never seen Steve Randle without a scowl on his face when not in the presence of girls.

"You okay? You've been standing there for a long time," Steve says, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm waiting for Angela," Billie replies, surprised that Steve would ask her that, considering they were neither friends or acquaintances, merely people that knew of each other, floating in and out of each other's lives.

"Waiting for Angela," Steve echoed. It isn't a question, but rather him processing what Billie had said. Billie notices the way his brow creases at this, as though he knows something about Angela that Billie doesn't.

Billie looks away from Steve to Ponyboy, who chooses at that moment to look up from the ground and Billie's heart skips a beat when their eyes make contact for the second time in two days. Billie feels her face heat up and she knows that she is blushing. She just hopes it isn't obvious.

When Billie looks at Steve, his green eyes are filled with pity and the same sinking feeling from when Billie was ten comes back again. Angela's not coming. She's forgotten about Billie.

Billie's not surprised. She knows how Angela can get when she's with her friends. It doesn't mean that it hurts any less, though.

Somehow, Steve just knows that Billie knows too. He gives her a sympathetic smile and says, "there's a spare seat in my car."

Billie shakes her head. "I'll just walk home. Thanks, though," she replies, giving Steve a smile, hoping he, Ponyboy and Two-Bit don't notice how her bottom lip is trembling.

Billie leaves before Steve can get a word in, turning her back to him and the other two boys and turning left, heading in the direction of her house.