Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before (Girlxgirl)

Chapter # 1

Taylor's POV

Ever notice how in every relationship, there comes a time when one person starts to ask questions but the other cannot answer them? That's the time to break it off, I think. Jason has been asking me questions for a long time now, and I never have answers for him. He asks me why I never feel like kissing him and why I don't like going out on dates and why I won't have sex with him.

I don't answer because its simple; I can't answer without doing something to myself that I really don't care much for. Exposing myself for what I really was. A liar. I was living a freak double life, but to be fair, I only liked the one life, here with Jason inside of this restaurant. The other much more private, shameful life I detested.

The chair was a bit too high for my liking, as my sandal-clad feet rested on the metal bar on the chair. My strawberry lemonade wasn't as sour as I hoped it would be and Jason had ordered for me again. I hated when he ordered for me.

We've been together for over a year and he likes to say he knows me like the back of his hand. He knew my favorite food, maybe and even my favorite pair of jeans but he didn't know the real me. He knew the me I let him see and that just wasn't good enough for me. Even though I haven't shared myself with him, I was still unsatisfied.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly, aching to tell him I couldn't do this or that he wasn't the one or that I didn't want him anymore. It all sounded too harsh to my own ears so I pursed my lips and then bit my lip, picking at my cuticles below the table in my lap.

Biting my lip seems flirty. Maybe I should do something unattractive. Or maybe I should stop being a whimp and speak up.

Jason was nice, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings when I crushed him tonight after our dinner date. I wasn't in love with him and I had to tell him that before prom got even closer than it already was. I didn't want him to go dateless, did I?

See, I weighed my options, and he will definitely want sex after prom, so I had to break up with him beforehand so he didn't get the wrong idea. I never made plans on having sexual intercourse with him--ever.

"Jason?" I tried, but he looked up at me and smiled. "Do you want to split a piece of pie? We could feed each other." I sighed. "Jason,"

"Or maybe we could get a milkshake?" I sighed again, as it was tiring to get interrupted every time I tried to talk to him. "Jason, I need to talk to you." He looked up at me with a grin on his face. "What is it."

I forgot the reason I wanted to break up with him. He was sweet and he cared about me and I should be ecstatic to have him in my life. I smiled and scratched my neck. "We should split the pie." I told him with a tight mouth.

I should have told him the truth.

For the last two months I have been tearing out my hair thinking of ways to let him down easy. But how do you let a boy who has been madly in love with you for the past year and a half down easy. Do you tell him you stopped loving him? Or go the other route and tell him you never loved him? I winced inwardly at that. I was a terrible human being.

I didn't have the courage to explain to him why it was, exactly that I wanted to break it off with him. That meant I would have to admit there was something wrong with me, and I wasn't ready to admit that to anyone.

Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. Maybe if I hid it well enough, I would be fine and Jason and I would be able to stay together after all. Although its exactly what I wanted it sounded like a nightmare. How could something you want so much make you sick?

I was starting to doubt everything, and if I didn't have a grip on anything, I would be in trouble soon enough. I didn't want anything to slip past my defense and show on the surface because I was fairly certain that would be the end of me.