to be found

for the one who holds a soft smile

I. Now

I know I love you, I just don't know what kind.

I'm not sure if I want to know

It's easier to simply assume it's a platonic love.

//

I think I love you, and it's hard even admit.

I know I don't want to know

It's simpler to believe this love stops at that.

II. Still now

We're a working progress

And let's not jump to conclusions

After all; we shouldn't ruin what we've built

//

I have felt more and more alive

But also terrified for life

I can't let this ruin us

III. Before

I don't know why these tears only fall

At your presence, at your voice

Oh, there's a certain calmness you always bring, no?

//

We're going to let the tears fall

Because then you can be okay

And I'll smile without realizing it

IV. Another before

The late, late night talks

Tell more stories than I sometimes wish

Yet it's okay because somehow I trust you

//

There's too many lies I give

Though you don't seem care or even realise

And I wonder why I can't leave

V. Way before

You know you're so far faraway?

Shielding yourself from the world--

Or the world from yourself?

//

I find myself not caring about the world

Or what the world does to me

You say why, I answer: because why not?

VI. Now

I love you, I say.

Maybe we won't know what kind of love

But you're loved, one way or another

//

Thanks, I reply. It's platonic, okay.

Can't be anything else

If so, then I'll hurt the way I always do

VII. After

It's a warming feeling

To see you there, waving your hand back at me

a soft smile on your face

//

You have always been strong enough by yourself

So I'll wave because it's goodbye

This is as far as this love can go

finished at 11.11

[i will always have no idea]

inspired by Waking Up Slowly - Gabrielle Aplin