I Lose My Voice When I Look At You

Pat Kirch || Together By This Christmas Tree

"C'mon sleepyhead, it's time to get up. We have decorations to set up, presents to wrap and cookies to make and eat." I murmured into my boyfriend's ear as he sleepily groaned into the pillow. Pat rolled over and slowly opened his tired brown eyes to look up at me, a soft smile spreading across his cheeks. I had gotten up about ten minutes before and began preparing breakfast in the kitchen of our apartment. I had changed out of the oversized t-shirt of Pat's that I had claimed as mine and into some festive Christmas pajamas. It was about three weeks before Christmas and I had finally convinced Pat on his day off to help me set up all the Christmas decorations I had been collecting since early November. After Halloween, Christmas was my favorite holiday and putting up the tree was easily my favorite part of the season. I nudged Pat's shoulder making him softly laugh and my persistence. "I've got breakfast going in the kitchen, and if you don't get up fast enough I might just eat it all myself." I teased, but we both knew I wasn't joking.

"Okay okay, I'm up." He said, slowly raising himself off the mattress and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "I'll be in the kitchen, when you're done in there put on the pajamas I got you!" I cheered happily towards the crack in the bathroom door. He laughed and sighed contentedly, knowing how much of a nut I was about doing cheesy holiday things. I made my way into the kitchen to finish cooking. I paused to open my phone and begin playing my Christmas playlist over the small speaker sat on the counter, before resuming flipping the pancakes while quietly singing along. I heard footsteps enter the kitchen and turned to see Pat making his way towards one of the stools behind the counter. He was dressed in green and red plaid pajama pants and a sweater that read "Merry F*ckin' Christmas" across the chest, exactly mirroring what I was already wearing. I laughed to myself, seeing how he always happily played along with my silly antics.

"You look wonderful babe." I said with a bright, beaming smile plastered across my face. He pretended to be shocked as he look back and forth rapidly from my outfit down to his identical one, before exclaiming "It looks like one of us is going to have to change." I laughed again and padded over to where he was now sitting and smiled at him before his hands found their way to my waist and pulled me in for a soft and sleepy morning kiss. I pulled away and pivoted on my heels to return to the pancakes on the stovetop, but Pat stopped me by grabbing my wrist and turning me back around to face him. "One more." He pleaded before pulling me in for another quick kiss. I grinned as our lips met. Afterwards, I returned to making our food, and once I had finished I brought the plates to the counter. I sat next to Pat and we both began helping ourselves to the various plates of food set before us. Throughout our quick breakfast we chatted about dreams from the previous night, plans for the weekend and other small, insignificant details. The thing with Pat however, was that nothing was insignificant. Even the smallest moments with him, like brushing our teeth together or going grocery shopping felt worthy of being placed into a scrapbook. He made every second of our time together special. We had been together for almost a year now, and each moment felt like the first. The rush of being in each other's company had never faded, and somehow I felt like it never would. He was different from anyone I had ever been with. He was special. We were both two kids, madly in love with each other, taking each moment as it came and making the best of what we had.

"You done babe?" I asked. He nodded contently.

"This was so amazing, thank you Maeve. You're seriously the best cook ever. I have to make it up for you this weekend and bring you breakfast in bed or something." I laughed in return. Pat wasn't the best cook, but I appreciated the effort more than anything and was instantly looking forward to being woken up by the sight of him with a tray of food in his hands. I grabbed the dishes and put them in the sink, deciding to wash them later in favor of starting on the decorating as soon as possible. "If I go grab the boxes and bags of decorations from the spare bedroom closet, will you get the tree from the hall closet?" I turned to face Pat with an arched eyebrow. "No problem, babe. I'll go grab it now." He headed down the hall and I heard the closet door open, followed by some rustling.

I walked down the short hallway to the guest room which was situated directly across from our room. I reached the closet, which was hidden by two large sliding mirrors and slid the left one open. I grabbed out the box of decorations, along with the two large Target bags sitting next to it. After cautiously setting the bags on top of the box, I lifted it all up and headed back down the hallway. Returning into the small living room, I saw Pat had propped the tree box up on the sofa and was using a pair of scissors to cut through the packing tape. He kept having to brush his long brown hair out of his eyes, which make me smirk to myself. I set the box and bags down on the coffee table and joined him to assist in setting up the tree. We managed to get it out of the box, and spent quite a while trying to figure out how to put it together and make sure all of the lights connected and lit up the way they were supposed to.

After we successfully got it all set up and in place, in the corner near the couch, we turned to each other and excitedly high-fived like kids, feeling proud of ourselves for managing to figure it all out. "Okay," I began, "Time for the garland." I rummaged around one of the bags and pulled out a long strand of glittery, gold garland. We spent a moment untangling it all, and proceeded to wrap it around the tree. As a kid I always hated the garland and deemed it unnecessary, but now I thought the tree would be incomplete without it. It was finally time for the ornaments. I paused and looked around, before letting out a defeated sigh and muttering "Fuck" under my breath.

"What is it?" Pat said, searching my face for a clue as to what had me suddenly so distraught. "Ornaments. I never got any ornaments. I meant to remind you that we had to go shopping for them sometime, and I totally forgot. The most important part of the tree, and I forgot it." I leaned against the arm of the sofa and brought my hands up to cover my face before shaking my head. I sighed again. "Actually," Pat said, "I have a surprise for you. We do have one ornament." I dropped my hands and lifted my head. I had no idea what he was talking about. "I'll be right back." He stated before rushing to our room and returning in seconds. He held out a small red and white box to me, and I hesitantly took it from him. "What's this?" I asked, puzzled.

"Open it and see." He replied, his soft brown eyes glowing as he smiled expectantly at me. I opened the box and my face lit up upon seeing its contents. Inside was a palm-sized clay ornament. It depicted two penguins in Christmas hats poking out of a stocking, which read "Our First Christmas Together" and on the trim of the stocking had our names. The smile on my face grew until it stretched from ear to ear, and I looked up at him, eyes filled with awe. "I can't believe you got us one Pat, I've always wanted one of these."

"Oh, I almost forgot, I got you something else as well."

"You didn't have to Pat, this is amazing all on its own." I exclaimed, still grinning madly at the ornament dangling from my fingers. "Close your eyes." He instructed, and I quickly squeezed my eyelids shut. I heard him rustling around in his pocket. "Okay, open now." I looked at him confused for a moment, before realizing his arm was held up above us. I glanced up to the tiny branch held between his fingertips. "Is that..."

"Mistletoe? Why yes, it is. As far as I remember, mistletoe has some sort of meaning, but I think you'll have to jog my memory on exactly what it would be." He smirked playfully at me, knowing exactly it's purpose but wanting to mess with me nonetheless. I laughed and raised onto the tips of my toes before bringing one hand up to lightly touch his cheek and press a kiss to his warm lips. He dropped his raised arm so that he could wrap it around my waist and pull me closer. Pat always wanted me as close as possible. His free hand found its way up to my cheek and cupped it, deepening the kiss to something more passionate.

We stayed that way, enjoying the rush of the kiss. It still felt like the first we ever had, full of excitement and happiness and butterflies. Once we finally parted lips, our foreheads rested against each other and I looked into his warm brown eyes. "Happy first Christmas, Maeve, and here's to many more. I love you." I blushed and leaned forward to kiss him again, before pulling back and whispering "I love you too, Pat, and I will for every Christmas to come." He pulled me in for a tight hug and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, enjoying the peaceful moment accompanied by his warm embrace. We spent the rest of the day setting up decorations, singing poorly to Christmas songs and making sweet treats between holiday movies on ABC Family. I knew that this was only the beginning of a lifetime full of sweet surprises and mistletoe kisses that I would spend with him, and I couldn't be happier about all that the future held for us.