Pardon The Interruption - The Broken Hearts Edition (#1 - PILOT)

THE BEGINNING OF AN ERA (PILOT) - LAST SEGMENT

SAD, SAD TIMES.

TK: In this edition, HAPPY TIMES don't exist. Let's get sad, people. Real sad.

MW: Technically, we are sad from the last segment. We cried for 2 separate minutes.

TK: Still does. Still does.

LONELY BIRTHDAY

TK: A lonely, teary birthday to Max Williams. Back in Minute Maid Field a few weeks ago, upon the upset of the Houston Astros from the eventual World Series Champs, the Boston Red Sox, Williams' girlfriend slapped him, hit him with a bag of popcorn, & dumped him, on live television; And I repeat, ON LIVE, NATIONAL TELEVISION, KIDS! This is what your parents don't want you see in a conference final! Both on TV, and on the real thing! Not on the MLB, not on the NHL, not on the NBA, NFL; But any other sport telecast, that can break your emotions, and tear up your hearts. Her girlfriend quoted to him, "I'm irreplaceable to you, but I think my actions against you is enough to end our happy union. I love you, but I'm sorry. Goodbye." She then left, and eventually, during the World Series, she's with a new man, and they donned the colors of the Sox. Still, we're so sad for you, Max. Don't worry, 'coz you'll find a better, loyal Astros fan than her in the future; But for now, happy birthday.

MW: She just dumped Max because of the elimination of the 'Stros, & our boy, Justin Verlander? Shut up, girl! Come on! Shut up!

TK: Sometimes, sports really breaks ties, including relationships.

MW: Like what you said, it does.

NOT-SO-HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

TK: A not-so-happy, despicable anniversary to the University of Nebraska's Southern Side Romance Club, and it's latest remnant, John Gordon. On this day, a year ago, the former Nebraska player for its UN-Omaha's Division 1 basketball team, the Mavericks, cried hysterically, like what happened to Max, ON LIVE TV!!! That happened during half-time, when he saw his girl, Maddie Hobart, a physiologist for the team, & off-duty at the time of the game, is at the bleachers, kissing QB Joe McCoy, who's from its football-playing sister team, the Cornhuskers of Nebraska in Lincoln. Gordon and his #2 UN-Omaha Mavericks, won the 2-OT game with 32pts., 14 assts., and 12 rebs., sending #3 Duke to #4, 135-120; And upon the final buzzer, everyone celebrated, the angry Gordon came to the bleachers where Maddie and Joe sat, flipped the "bird" (Middle Finger Salute), and screamed the hell out; And I quote: "YOU WANNA FIGHT, JOE?! YOU STOLE MADDIE FROM ME!!! SO, I'LL SEND YOU DOWN TO THE GROUND WHERE YOU BELONG RIGHT NOW!!!" Unquote. Unfortunately, the fight didn't happen, Gordon was suspended by Nebraska for 2 games because of this rash, unacceptable behavior, so does McCoy back in Lincoln, where he was at the bleachers during the game of the Huskers against Purdue, and will likely to be suspended for 2 more. In light of this, the board of regents of UN-Omaha terminated Maddie from her post as a physio for the team. Turns out, weeks later, she tried to win John back when she and Joe failed down, but he doesn't want to. That's the worse breakup in the history of University of Nebraska's Southern Side.