The word of God study

Forgiveness

I will write my experience about this word in accordance to the bible study verses:

When I encounter something cause me to feel pain that from someone, my heart will be harden. One example is "other use my personal things without permission from me". Seeing or encountering things I don't like, hate will form in my spirit. Breaking the relationship or connection I have from other and centered in what I don't like or in one word: hate toward that someone. When I am not close to that someone, I will keep quiet, about that event. But, hate still remain. When that someone said when he will be returning my personal thing after he/she used it. I will say "I understand." But, deep inside in me, I am murdering him/her because of hate I have toward that someone. Reason in my mind will form , "why that someone didn't ask me first personally, about using my personal thing!?". Or "that person who used, give back my personal thing without communication in me". Whenever  I see that person, hate will form in me saying: "that is the person who do this without considering me".
And I will have that memory about that person and tell it to other people that I know.

Centralizing in the things I encounter that "I don't like" or in "self-centered" makes me captive in word "hate" or "self-centered". It takes courage to release in that prison. How!?.
You need to follow the Lord's counsel.
Talk personally in your brother who offend you or do uncertain to you. You need to tell your brother/sister about what he/she done to you that cause you to hate him/her. To release you from that event. Or release you in imprisoning in "hate". Be connect to that someone through communicating. When he/she will admit the wrong things he/she done toward you, and ask forgiveness, inside you, you will really understand that person and also forgive him/her. That will bring unity and forgiveness in both side and restoring the original connection you have toward that someone. You need reconciliation toward that someone to erase or kill the hate that form.

The counsel about this or about someone offending you is found in: Matthew 18:15-17. Or, you are the one who offend, is in: Matthew 5:21-26.

When I bring back all I done, there where a lot of people I murder in the past, for my self- centered alone. That also means murdering myself!, for, it was living in vain or rejection of peace and happiness. I was only speak in few people personally that I feel hate toward them. Or be connect personal in people who feel hate toward me. To say sorry in honestly, you need to be connect again to them. I ask the Lord for the forgiveness I done. "Past is past". I can't turn back time to fix the old evil deeds I have done. I am guilty in giving them sharpnails through words I have said to them because of hate; wether in mind or through mouth. Guilty in murdering them inside myself. Guilty in others  not saying personally the matter to them. And guilty because, I walk in front in a new,  leaving all it behind without reconciliation in many.

I ask, why when I was a child, when they said; "say sorry to them", I immediately follow seeing it was right. Now that I am old, why it was hard to be a child again and ask forgiveness to ease the pain and restored the broken!?. (Pride is first enemy of adult. It takes to be a child again to be humble in admitting and gaining peace. But, I take the Word of God "live in truth", "past is past". Though I can bring it back, restored it in reconciliation; "I have learn a lesson". That bring fruit about it. That help me look forward and face the incoming events, with His guidance. The pain have been there, the hate have been stablished, but the fruit of it, declared what is the rigtheous.

Proverbs 9:6
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.
Proverbs 28:13
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Isaiah 55:7
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

Better is forgiving heart for PEACE WILL REIGN. Than a regretting heart WHERE VAIN REMAIN.

Added information:
The evil word you posses, will also bring others. When you have a evil word like hate in your spirit. It will call another evil word to be connect and form a chain in you. Bounding you in prison. This I discover. Failing to notice the disease in your spirit, it will attract other diseases to come. Hate attract to word anger, judging or condemning, focusing on others dirt and not in your own, and separation or broken relation. It will bring another words against the Word of God to be done. It was for you to be chain in vain and keep you away in the life. Only the Lord can tear down and break this chains, so you would be free. For, He is the only Healer in disease in Spirit. You need a consultations  in Him personally (meaning you need to call upon Him or pray). And His word is a medication for you to be restored and bring back to life. (Meaning you need your life [eat a bread of life] bound in His word to be restored and bring back in life again.)

"Thy wickedness may hurt a man as thou art; and thy righteousness may profit the son of man"
Job 35:8

"He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;
He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see light.
Lo, all these things worketh God oftentimes with man.
To bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living."
Job 33:27-30