The earliest memory of my parents falling apart was when I was 3, I remember hearing dishes being thrown at the wall. I remember hearing every vocal cord being strangled by the harsh words. It was the sound of people not in love anymore.
I never really knew what it all meant at the time i just remember being scared as i used my covers as protection. Trying so hard to block out everything, but it didn't work. It went on for hours and i just hoped it stopped.. Then it did, i remember my mom crying. I remember my dad leaving the house as quick as possible i remember him not even checking on both of us.
I'm 16 now, and I still remember what was being said. I call it "people falling out of love" that's what it sounds like. People not caring anymore, people leaving us to die and decay while we just watch them leave us. What can I do.. I don't have a relationship with my dad anymore. Not that i really want too, what's the point in talking to someone who doesn't even love me. It's always be me and my mom yet i don't even feel connected to her as well.
It's all just been me, i've been alone forever not really knowing what being loved felt like nor did i want too, it was harsh and it only brought people pain i thought. Sometimes it sucks, being alone but at the same time i know nobody else can hurt me when i'm the only one inside my brain.
Then you came along, and oh how you fucked up my whole life.
