Learning to Live

Chapter 23

I was dreaming of her, walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding dress, holding a single red rose in her hand. Jon, Camelia, Greg, and Cynthia were all there, smiling. When it was time for the rings little Charlie appeared as the ring bearer. He was the same except for a gash on his forehead, scrapes on his face, and bruised fingers from the accident. His sad, pale face looks up at me, "Enjoying life Ian?"

I wake up instantly in a cold sweat, I couldn't catch my breath. I've never had lucid dreams like that before. Shana wakes and tries to calm me down, "Ian, it's just a bad dream. Okay?" She hugs me.

I continued to focus on her comforting voice until I was calm. She pulled the covers up over her chest. "What were you dreaming about honey?"

I clear my throat, "Nothing. Nothing to worry about." I didn't want to talk about the wedding I saw in my dream because I didn't know if she felt the same about it.

"Well, it doesn't seem like nothing."

"I don't want to talk about it." I bluntly said. Then I realize the look of uncertainty on her face. "Look I'm sorry. I'm fine. Go back to sleep, babe." I pull her in closer and give her a little peck on her lips.

Her tired eyes look at me once more before lying down and cuddling the covers. I open my phone and scrolled through it. It was 4:30 Am. I couldn't believe it was that early. I got out of bed and peer out the window, the sky is clear but the sun was barely up. There's one thing about me, once I'm up I can't go back to sleep. To pass the time, I decide to go on a little stroll around the neighborhood.

I stood at the front of the sidewalk, deciding on which direction I should take. The street was so quiet and the pitch glistens under the street lights. Dogs were barking in the distance that contrasts with the silence of the neighborhood. It's the first time in years I'm not seeing a vehicle filled street or hearing the irritating sounds of the city.

I look both ways before crossing and suddenly stops in the middle of the street when I realize, I was standing exactly where Charlie lost his life. I look up and watch the Connelly's front door as I remembered myself screaming for him to come back inside. I look in the opposite direction and saw Cynthia screaming for the truck to stop.

I inhale slowly and exhale, trying to clear my head of that tragic day. My hands got shaky and so did my breath. I immediately shoved my hands in my hoodie pockets and close my eyes trying to console myself. The sound of a vehicle approaching made me come down back to earth. Its bright lights blinded me, its horn honked vigorously for me to get out of the way but I literally felt like a fucking deer in headlights. The car swerves around and zoom passed me. I caught a glimpse of a group of men inside and the stench of marijuana followed their trail. One of the men poked his head out of the window, "Asshole!"

That served me right, what I was thinking of standing in the middle of the street like that. I started walking down the sidewalk and with every step, memories of my teenage years start to pop up in my head. I passed my old High school and Baylee's diner where I used to hang out after school.

The sun was now up and shining. I could finally see my beautiful old neighborhood. I was approaching a street that was all too familiar. It was the street where I used to live with my parents before they passed away. A chill ran down my spine when I thought about what the house must have looked like now. I hasten my pace in its direction. There it was, just like I remembered, with its grey roof and stone front steps.

Walking up the steps again, felt like I was finally coming home. The closer I got to the door, I kept imagining my parents opening it and welcoming me back home, but I knew they won't because they're gone.

I knock on the door without thinking of why. A short woman with a grey streak in her black hair answers the door. Her eyes are puffy and she's clutching the neck of her emerald green robe.