Been Here All Along

13| change

Before I could question what was going through his mind, he took off across the river, speed walking over a fallen tree, to get to the oddly-shaped tree.

   I followed after him, but I definitely did not sprint over the log like he did. Unfortunately, I was too late to interrogate Ian and make him think his actions through; he was already climbing the damn tree.

"Ian James Miller!" I scolded as I slowly walked across the stream. I would throw a fit if I fell in.

   It rained for literally twelve hours straight and only just stopped two hours ago. The tree was undoubtedly slippery and not safe to climb, but of course it wouldn't stop Ian. This was a recipe for disaster.

   "Come on, E, get down." I stood at the bottom of the tree as I watched Ian climb onto the next branch.

   "Chill, babe, it's—" that's when I watched Ian's foot slip off the branch. He was lucky enough to only land on his left arm, as opposed to his head.

   Nonetheless, I screamed and ran to his side. He was cursing repeatedly, cradling his arm with tears brimming his eyes.

   "W-What do I do?" I asked, my voice quavering. I was trying to not cry considering he's the one who just fell from 15 feet up, right onto his arm. He did not even acknowledge me for at least another three minutes as he flinched from the pain. "Should I call an ambulance?"

Still no acknowledgement.

That's when I lost it and started freaking out. I reached for my phone, my hands shaking so much I couldn't even use it. Plus, I couldn't really see since my vision was so blurry from my tears.

"Josie Elle," Ian's strained, yet still soothingly soft, voice spoke up. "Just drive me to the hospital, okay?" His teeth were clenched together in attempt to manage the immense pain he must be feeling.

I nodded as I stood up. I used my sleeve to wipe my face dry, then carefully helped Ian up. My eyes widened with worry when he flinched at my touch.

"My keys are in my pocket." I reached into his pocket and grabbed his car keys then slowly started toward the car.

I literally just watched my boyfriend fall out of a tree. He could've died.

"Stop thinking," he murmured. With the hand that belonged to the arm that wasn't broken, he grabbed mine and interlaced our fingers tightly. I let him do what he needed to, to deal with the pain. "I'll be okay."

We both knew that his arm is most definitely broken, but I believed him anyway. Besides, it's Ian. Not even a broken arm could slow him down from living his life at the pace he pleases.

*4 years ago*

   Ian's departure was no walk in the park for anybody. The whole town just seemed mellow without his lively personality running amuck. I was no exception; in fact, I was a prime example.

   I love Ian and I always will, but he left in a shitty way. I had no time to prepare myself to say goodbye. Of course I always knew we'd run out of time, but how was I supposed to know he'd be gone right after graduation? He should've told me sooner. I wish that he would've. Maybe then I wouldn't be hurting as much as I am now.

   "Not too good, Ella, I'm not going to lie to you," I heard my mom say over the phone, talking to Ella Miller, Ian's mom. Mrs. Miller did not want to see her youngest son go off to war, but she was able to come to terms with it since she has known about him going off since he found out.

   Hayden even told me that none of his family agreed with Ian's decision to not tell me, but they didn't say anything because it wasn't their business to.

   "Mom," I mumbled. "I'm going to the woods."

   But not with Ian. I'm going by myself.

   She put her phone on her shoulder to muffle our conversation. Her face looked incredibly concerned, filled with pity. "Drive safe, honey." Ian only left yesterday morning, and I could already tell my whole family will be walking on glass around me for, at least, the next few weeks, if not longer.

   Somehow, I managed to hold myself together until I was safely parked in our usual parking spot. I let my mind decide which path I'd take today, and I soon found myself in the same spot Ian told me he loved me for the first time.

   My heart physically ached at the memory. You don't know pain until you can physically feel your heart hurting.

   I sat down on the grass and let my emotions go. There was hardly anyone ever out here so I knew I could cry as loudly as I pleased without having to worry about my mom hearing me.

   I don't care how young I am and how much time I have to meet new people. I don't care that the probability of Ian and I ending up together are slim anyway. I don't care that he is about to be sent overseas for the next four years. I know myself and I know Ian, and I know that he's the one for me. No matter what happens, I know it'll always come back to him.

   That's why it hurts so much, I guess. The love of my life is going to be hundreds or thousands of miles away, fighting in a war at the age of 18.

  On top of that, he broke up with me before he left. I wanted to wait for him; I would've waited for him, but he insisted that we end things until he's back at the least. He said he didn't want our long distance relationship to be what prevents me from being happy. It never could though; all I need to be happy is him, but he doesn't understand that.

Above all else, I hope he's okay. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost him. A life without Ian sounds like living hell. He has to make it through this.

He has to.

"Please be okay," I whispered, sniffling in after my private pity party. Too many people love him for something to happen to him.

•••

I thought this was a cute chapter and we got some more insight on Ian and Josie pre-separation. Wow I miss them together and I've hardly written about their actual relationship :')

I'm doing very great, still. I'm physically in a very good place with my life. Mentally, I'm making major progress, which is great too.
I hope you guys are all doing well, too, but if you're not it's okay. We are all going through stuff. If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here :)

Have a great weekend!
TGIF!

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- Emily