Poker Face

Chapter 80 - Just Another Morning

"Av?" Negan's voice was rough and tired, but soft. Even when he was mad, he was there to comfort her every night when she woke from her nightmares. Her breathing slowed more quickly than usual, since she hadn't woken in the middle of a memory of being attacked, but it picked back up again when she analyzed the last few seconds of her dream. "Baby, you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said unconvincingly, her voice weak. For a second, she was afraid she'd turn over and see him bloodied like in her dream. But she quickly realized he was okay and stayed facing away when she remembered she was angry.

"You don't sound fine, baby. C'mere." He reached out for her but she slapped him away. He gritted his teeth, letting out a rough sigh as his eyes adjusted to see the back of her head in the darkness.

"Go back to sleep, you have a big day tomorrow," she said bitterly. She'd had dreams before where Negan was hurt or even dead. The night before her last visit to Alexandria, before Rosita cut her throat, she'd had an especially bad one. She'd begged Negan not to go but her emotional pleas turned into a round of frantic love making and, of course, Negan was fine the next day aside from the pain he went through seeing her hurt.

"Come on, baby, let me hold you." His tired voice showed no signs of waking. He was clearly half asleep, otherwise he wouldn't be speaking so affectionately with her, not after their latest disagreement. The words weren't so harsh as their argument earlier, but they'd left things at a stand-off, one that Aven wasn't exactly primed to win, and one that Negan didn't understand. He knew she wanted to keep an eye on him and be a part of things, but he didn't understand why she was fighting him so hard on this one operation. Afterall, these people had almost killed her, and then kidnapped her. Why couldn't she accept it was better for both of them if she was out of harm's way?

In the morning, neither of them would remember how they ended up in each other's arms anyway. Even when she was mad, it was hard for Aven to say no. From her first time in his arms, even though she was feverish and delusional, somehow she knew it felt right. It always felt right.

Negan woke before her and tried to move out from under her carefully to avoid waking her, partially to let her rest and partially to avoid the inevitable continuation of their argument. It didn't work.

"Aven, I don't need you getting your fucking throat slit again!" he finally barked after a lackluster recap of the argument they already had.

"Is that it? You think I can't handle myself?" Negan groaned and threw his hands up, not quite in defeat; he still definitely wasn't letting her come to Hilltop. She was usually better with her arguments, more precise so he couldn't poke holes in what she was saying. You think I can't handle myself, she said. That wasn't quite it, though he couldn't deny she put herself in harm's way on more than one occasion. And she herself, after what Rosita did, expressed that she didn't want to face the outside world for a while. That was two weeks ago. What changed?

While Aven was in the shower, she heard the front door to their bedroom slam shut. She was sure Negan was hoping she wouldn't follow when she was dressed, but she did. She worried he'd try to leave without her, and maybe he would have, but it was still going to take an hour or so to wrangle the Saviors and get on the road. She found him on the factory shouting orders at everyone, in one of his tenser moods despite the sure victory he was about to take. 

It seemed every remaining member of the Saviors and their workers were milling around the floor, the two remaining wives included. Aven repressed a scowl, unsure if it was because of lingering jealousy at their choice to continue wearing their sexy little black dresses, or because of Negan's chauvinistic choice to keep wives in the first place. She couldn't complain, though; it was her idea to keep them around anyway for show. Both Amber and Frankie tried to avoid eye contact with Aven, as they had ever since she killed Tanya. But Frankie couldn't help but glance up, immediately looking away fearfully when she caught Aven's eye. Aven felt a tinge of guilt. There was a time when she'd scolded Negan for how his wives feared him. They definitely still did, but it was now partially because of her.