𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕘𝕦𝕪 » 𝕥𝕠𝕞 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 [𝟙]

THIRTY THREE

"Um... two days ago."

"Wow," was all Kat could say.

Tom instantly felt defensive, "You know we're not exclusively together though, right?"

Kat scoffed as she took a seat, "I've actually been telling myself and everyone that these past couple weeks but hearing you say it out loud..."

Tom instantly regretted saying that, he regretted everything he's done following his spontaneous trip to New York.

But it was too late to take anything back, the gears were already turning in Kat's head.

"Kat," he began, taking a seat next to her, putting a hand on her knee, "You know I care about-"

Snapping out of her trance, Kat quickly stood up, "I can't do this."

"What? Kat-"

"I just need some space from you," she cut him off, already starting to back up.

"No," Tom frowned though, "I don't want to lose you."

"Neither do I," Kat smiled sadly, "Which is why I need some space- to get over you."

"I don't want you to get over me."

"So what you just want me to pine over you for the rest of my life? You think that's what I deserve? This unrequited love?"

"No," he sighed, "I just... I need time to... fuck!"

"You need time to fuck?" Kat asked slowly.

Tom quickly shook his head, "No!"

"Can I just ask... what changed? I mean we were happy in California and we were happy in New York and- you weren't sleeping with any girls then, right?" Tom only shook her head, making her continue, "So what changed when you came back home for you to have a sudden change of heart and just..."

She couldn't even continue, Tom saw this as he cleared his throat, deciding then and there to answer her honestly.

"Honestly? My friends made me see that maybe what we had, it wasn't as perfect as I thought it was. We were moving too fast and when they started warning me and telling me how out of character I was being- I mean I got a matching tattoo with you for Gods sake! I just- I knew I needed to separate myself a bit before I became... for the lack of a better word, trapped."

"Trapped?" Kat scoffed, "You really thought I'd trap you?"

"No! But my friend- he just told me he went through the same thing with his wife. He thought he was in love and she was it but now he's miserable and wants nothing more than to leave her but..."

"But he was trapped," Kat finished with a sigh, running her fingers through her hair frustratedly.

"Kat, I know you'd never trap me or make me feel that way-"

"Obviously you didn't if you took their advice and spoke to me less so you could sleep around."

Tom remained silent, they both did as they just stood there, looking around their surroundings.

When she saw a couple walking happily hand in hand not too far from them, Kat took that as a sign and knew what she had to do.

"Ever since I met you- you've been on my mind. I've worried about you or if I was creeping you out, making you happy, just wanting to be with you... this has all really just shined the light for me too. That I need to- I need to focus on me for a while."

"Kat-"

"I mean, sure I've already done that my whole life and I thought for once I could just be in a happy relationship and find my other half and just be happy but... but that's obviously not the case here."

"Kat, please," Tom tried again, reaching out to hold her hands, "Just listen to me. I want to be with you, I'm sure of that now more than anything."

But Kat still shook her head, "I-I'm sorry Tom but I just... I don't trust you anymore."

Tom dropped her hands as she wiped a tear that fell.

"Honestly, maybe you're just feeling like you want to be with me because you're scared you'll lose me as a friend but don't worry, you won't. We'll still be friends- the best of it. But maybe after the press tour is done and I've had more time to myself to think things through."

"So that's it then? I'm not gonna talk to you or see you for a couple months?"

"You'll be fine," Kat smiled sadly as she fixed the strap of her bag, "And I'll uh... I'll talk to you then, Tom. Try not to get into too much trouble when I'm gone."

"I don't want you gone, Kat," Tom sighed.

But the decision had already been made and Kat was not going to change her mind.

"Goodbye Tom."

written: November 17, 2018
posted: January 17, 2019

i'm finally posting early!!!