Outcasts

Chapter 46 - Two Things

Guy looked at the bonfire: for the first time since his childhood he felt happy looking at the flames.
Marian was at his side, holding his hand, and this made all the difference.
The girl came closer to him, smiling, and Gisborne couldn't help smiling back. He knew that the light-hearted happiness he was feeling wouldn't last, that it would fade in front of the difficult winter they were going to face, but he was decided to enjoy it for as long as he could.
Probably the people of Locksley were doing the same thing without even realizing it: after the party they would be back to their humble lives and to the sorrow for their losses, but now they were putting everything aside to enjoy the feast, eating, drinking and dancing as if they didn't have a single worry.
Guy looked at them, and he felt good, thinking that those people were smiling because of him, that his actions for once brought joy instead of fear.
He realized that this feeling was probably one of the reasons why Robin had loved so much helping the people in need. Guy didn't doubt the goodness of his heart, but he also guessed that Robin needed to feel the love of his people. He was saddened to think how difficult it must have been for him to have lost it.
Suddenly he felt even too aware of the touch of Marian's hand and guilt came back biting at his conscience. Was he taking her too from Robin? Would that be the final blow that would destroy him completely?
But Robin didn't want to meet her, he shunned the sight of her and hid in his room whenever she was around, while her presence was like fresh air for Guy: he needed her, she gave him life and hope for the future.
I can't give up my love for her. Not even for Robin.
He thought that he was really changed after the siege. In the beginning, when he had started wooing Marian, it was partly because he wanted to take from Hood everything he had ever owned: his house, his riches, his woman. He had wanted to destroy him, to see him grovelling in the dirt before his feet, but now that his wishes were granted, Guy found out that to see Robin like this pained him.
Are we friends, now?
"Guy?" Marian called him, and he turned to look at her. "You look troubled."
"I... I think I am."
Marian put an arm around his waist and came closer, leaning on him.
"Because of Robin?"
Guy nodded, a little surprised that she could read his thoughts so well.
"I don't want to hurt him, I really don't."
"You came to care for him, didn't you? I'm glad you did, he needs friends now, and I think that it's the same for you too."
"How can I be his friend, when..." he stopped, looking at Marian and unable to continue.
"When?" She asked, softly.
Gisborne shook his head, with a deep sigh.
Marian stepped away from him, and Guy thought that he must have disappointed her, but the girl grabbed his hand again and she began pulling him away from the crowd.
"Come." She whispered, heading to the stables, and Guy followed her.
When they entered, the black stallion neighed in fear, but he calmed down as soon as he recognized Guy and Marian. Gisborne went to scratch the nose of the horse, turning his back to Marian.
"Guy? What were you going to say?" The girl reached him from behind, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Guy tensed up and he didn't answer, but Marian didn't give up.
She gently forced him to turn and look at her.
"Tell me, please," she pleaded.
"You already know. And it doesn't matter because you don't feel the same for me," Guy said, dejectedly.
It was dark in the stables, there were just a few lit candles and the light of the bonfire entering from the door, but Guy could see Marian's expression: her determined stare was set on him, and she wouldn't relinquish her demand until he answered.
"Tell me," she repeated.
"I love you," he finally surrendered, "I am a fool, and I know that I shouldn't, but I can't help loving you. Even if I have no hope. Even if it's wrong. I love you and I always will."
Marian moved her hand from his shoulder to his cheek, tenderly, then she lifted her face to kiss him.
When she stepped back, Guy was staring at her, bewildered, while she was smiling.
"You're right on two things: probably this is wrong."
She kissed him again and Guy held her tight, deepening the kiss until they were both out of breath.
Marian rested her face on his chest and she stood still, listening to his heart beating fast. She felt warm and safe in Guy's arms and she knew that her heart had made the right choice.
"You only said one thing," Guy whispered, caressing her hair, "what's the other?"
Marian looked at him.
"You are a fool, Guy." She said with an impish smile. "You are a fool if you think that I don't feel the same."
Guy didn't say anything, he just kept still and he stared at her, but she could see the succession of emotions in his eyes: surprise, hope, fear and hope again.
Gisborne didn't dare to ask if he had understood well, so Marian took mercy on him.
"I love you too, silly," she said, searching his gaze so he could be sure that she meant it. She laughed softly: saying it aloud made her feel elated. "I love you, Guy of Gisborne."