Outcasts

Chapter 18 - Shattered in a Thousand Pieces

Marian reached Guy almost at the edges of the forest, and she grabbed his hand to make him stop.
She was out of breath after running along the uphill path and Guy too, but the knight was also trembling.
"Guy?" She called, trying to meet his gaze, but Gisborne was staring at the ground, his face shielded by his hair.
The girl lifted a hand to touch a dark, wavy lock.
"It grew long," she said softly, "it's funny that I never really noticed till now."
Marian pushed the hair away from Guy's face and she rested her hand on his cheek.
"Guy? Look at me. Are you alright?"
Gisborne closed his eyes, and he leaned on her hand, taking comfort from her touch.
"I don't know," he whispered. "Are you?"
The girl shook her head, trying to hold tears back and failing at it. She felt Guy's arms closing around her shoulders and pulling her in a hug.
Marian held him tight, leaning her head on his chest and she finally allowed herself to weep.

Thornton waited quietly outside his hut. He was tired, but he couldn't rest, he could just wait.
Lady Marian had brought Sir Guy with her, claiming that he could help, and Thornton had let him try, even if he didn't really believe her words.
Gisborne had been a stern master, interested only in obeying the sheriff, why should he want to become a healer?
But in all those years he had owned Locksley, Thornton had also seen a softer side of the knight, especially when he returned to the manor after a long day at the castle. Usually he just sat in front of the fire, alone or with his guards, eating a simple meal and just wishing to be quiet.
Probably the destruction of Nottingham had changed him too, like everyone else. Thornton had heard that Gisborne had acted bravely during the siege and that he almost died when the castle was taken.
The touch of Death always changed people somehow, and surely Gisborne was different now.
When Matilda arrived, Thornton saw his former master running away from the hut, clearly upset and followed by lady Marian. He didn't know what that meant, if Gisborne had damaged Hannah, or if instead he had been able to give her some help.
But to know that, he could only wait.
Suddenly he heard a cry coming from the hut.
A different cry.
The cry of a baby.

Marian was sitting under a tree, her back leaning on the trunk. Guy was stretched on the grass at her side with his arms crossed under his head, and he was looking at the leaves moving in the breeze.
The hand of the girl was touching his hair, playing with the long locks and combing them with her fingers. It was a soothing sensation.
"Marian?" He called, softly, and the girl looked at him. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For telling those women that they could trust me. Did you really believe that I could help that girl?"
"I hoped you could, but that wasn't the point."
"What, then?"
"How they spoke to you. It wasn't right, you were there to help, to do something good, and they couldn't see that, they could only think of the past."
Guy sighed.
"But they have a point after all. And I'm used to people's hatred."
"I'm getting used to it too."
"You never told me why."
"I don't want to."
"I wouldn't despise you, whatever you did."
Marian sighed.
"I know. But no."
"That's alright. Sorry for asking. After all I can't even remember what happened to me, you don't have to speak about it if you don't want to."
Marian hugged her knees.
"Sometimes I wonder if life is fair. Probably, if it were, I should have died during the siege."
Guy tilted his head a little to glance at her.
"Do you regret being alive?"
She shook her head.
"I don't want to die. But many other people would have deserved living more than I do."
Guy's lips twitched in a half smile.
"I know the sensation."
Marian's hand went back to caress Guy's hair.
"What about you? Are you glad you survived?"
"I do. Actually, I think that this is the first time in years that I am actually happy to be alive. I know that it sounds crazy... I probably am half mad, I can't remember the siege and often I'm not sure of what I feel, but still I've never been so free. Never since I was a boy."
Guy closed his eyes with a contented sigh, relaxing under Marian's touch and the girl looked at him, feeling strangely moved by his words.
"I'm happy you are alive," she whispered, then, following a sudden urge, she bent down to kiss him.
Guy opened his eyes with a gasp, and Marian retreated hurriedly, holding her breath.
"Marian?" Guy stared at her, a confused, hurt expression on his face. "What does it mean?"
Tears filled her eyes, slowly going down her cheeks, and she stifled a sob.
"I... I don't know..."
Guy lifted a hand to her cheek, wiping away a tear, but another followed, and another, sliding on her face and falling on his. He tasted their salt on his lips, and he felt like crying as well, even if he wasn't sure of his feelings for her. But he was well aware of her feelings.
"What about Hood? You love him." He whispered, and Marian burst up openly weeping.
"I do! I do! But is he still there?! Is he even alive?"
"His heart is beating..."
"That's not what I meant! I know that his body is alive, but is Robin alive? Will he ever be back to be the Robin we know?"
Guy sighed.
"No. Nothing can be the same. Nothing. Not Robin, but not even us. We are different. Changed. Broken."
Marian was still bending over him, the tips of her hair almost touching his face. She held his gaze.
"Guy? Do you still love me?"
Gisborne blinked, averted his eyes for a moment, then he looked back at her.
"I don't know... I know I did, I remember that even too well, but now... It's as if my soul had been shattered in a thousand pieces. Those fragments... they don't always fit together... and they are sharp. They hurt... Some of them say that I still do, that I'm happy when I see you, that I care... But other ones are just like shards of ice, they smother everything else, they make me feel dead. How can I say if I love you or not if I can't understand what I feel?"
Marian stifled a sob, and her fingers caressed his cheek, softly. His eyes were so absurdly blue, she thought, even when clouded by doubt and pain.
"Guy..."
"I'm so sorry, Marian... I really don't know... I'm sorry..." His voice broke, and Marian bent again to kiss his cheek.
"Don't." She whispered. "It's not your fault."
Guy pulled her into a hug, and she lay on him, leaning her head on his shoulder and snuggling in his arms.
They stood still for a while, finding some comfort in that hug, then Guy moved a hand to push back Marian's hair and look at her. The girl moved her head to meet his gaze.
"Marian? Would it be so wrong?" He asked in a whisper.
"What?"
"To kiss you again."
Marian didn't answer immediately. She had a hand on Guy's chest and she could feel his heartbeat under her fingers, through the cloth of his shirt. It made her feel safe, reassured.
"I don't know. Probably it is," she said, "but I don't care. I want it too."
She searched for his lips, and Guy held her tighter.
Maybe he's right, she thought, losing herself in his warmth, we're both broken. But not alone. Not anymore.

The two women who had been sent out by Matilda didn't stay by the hut, but they went to the pond, pretending that they were there to wash clothes and that they had lost too much time already helping Hannah Thornton.
The other women, curious, came to the pond with their laundry too, eager to listen what had happened in the hut, and especially what Guy of Gisborne had done.
"He must have some evil plan, I'll never believe that one like him can choose to become a healer. He's knight and a noble, he wouldn't do it." One of them said.
"Why is he always following Matilda, then?"
"And why is Matilda allowing him to follow her? Gisborne arrested her last year, she should want to see him going to hell!"
"Don't you know? They say that she saved his life! He was wounded, almost dead, and she nursed him back to health."
"I heard that he died and came back from hell..."
The women trembled in fear at the idea. They didn't actually believe that, but they weren't completely sure of the contrary either.
Gisborne was evil, everyone knew that, he was the one who made people suffer when the sheriff decided it, he was the one who burned houses and took people to the dungeons, the one who ordered to cut hands or to hang people. Nobody doubted that he belonged to hell.
"So, what did he do to Hannah?" One of the girls asked, unable to refrain her curiosity any longer.
"He and Lady Marian were both there, and they forced us to stay in a corner, away from the bed. We tried to send him away, but they must have done something to Hannah, poor girl, and she said to let him try..." The woman lowered her voice. "Gisborne and lady Marian kept whispering something, then he gave Hannah a foul smelling concoction..."
"Was it poison?!" One of the girls cried.
"I don't know what it was, but Hannah kept suffering. But the worst thing happened later..." She paused, while the other woman who had been in the hut nodded with a somber expression on her face.
"Oh, yes, it was terrible..."
"What? What?! What did he do?!"
"He went to bed with Hannah, and he touched her," the first woman said in a whisper, and the other held their breath.
"He did that to a pregnant woman? While she was about to give birth?!"
"It's unholy!"
"In front of our eyes too! And lady Marian didn't do anything about it... She stopped us from intervening!"
One of the women squeezed her laundry as if she wanted to do the same thing to Gisborne's neck, while the other traded horrified whispers.
"Once I thought that lady Marian was a good woman, that she wanted to help us... She changed so much! I heard that we had to suffer so much because of her."
"The attack of the army, do you mean? I heard that too."
"Do you think that it was Gisborne who corrupted her?"
"Who else?"
The women were gossiping, but now even a few of the men of Locksley had stopped by the pond to listen to their words. Almost all of them had a reason to hold a grudge against Gisborne for the things he had done at Vaisey's orders, or they had now against Marian because they had lost families and houses in the attack of Prince John's army.
The girl had been living in the ruins of Locksley manor, hoarding the things she had found in the rubble of the village, and, when they came back, the people of Locksley didn't like that, but they didn't dare to say anything against her because she was still a noble, the daughter of the former sheriff. They had rebuilt their huts, ignoring her presence, pretending that she was just a ghost haunting the burned manor.
But now those women were saying serious and terrible things about her and Gisborne, things that made them boil with anger.
Another man reached them, in a hurry, anxious to add his gossip to the other news.
"I just passed near Thornton's hut. The old man was sitting on the steps, and he was crying like a child! Something must have happened..."
The crowd began to murmur.
"Probably Hannah died..."
"And her baby too."
"It was Gisborne's fault, he must have poisoned her..."
"And he raped her, they've seen him!"
"I heard that he was saying that he was possessed by Hannah's dead husband!"
"That's witchcraft!"
"Gisborne returned from hell and he corrupted lady Marian's soul!"
"They killed Hannah!"
"We should do something!"
"Where are they now?!"
"When Matilda came, she sent them away! I saw them running from the hut. They took that path up there!"
A man grabbed a shovel, wielding it like a weapon.
"Let's stop them!" He cried, and the others roared in response, taking their own tools.
"For poor Hannah's soul!"
The crowd moved to follow the path and just a few, not brave enough to face a possible devil and his witch, were left behind.
They all cried and mourned for Hannah Thornton, a poor victim of two wicked demons, but nobody thought of stopping to Thornton's hut to see what actually happened to her.