Third Wheeling For Dummies | on hold

twelve

"You could've been less dramatic."

"That wasn't dramatic," Jae rolls her eyes, putting her hands behind her back. "You haven't even seen dramatic. I could be parading around with velvet scarves and fur-lined hats and quoting Oliver Twist, bitch, and that wouldn't be me at my most dramatic," She says. "Unfortunately, back then, I was being serious."

"Okay." He says, and he's surprised to find the slightest touch of mockery in his voice.

"And apparently that was wasted on you." She rolls her eyes. "See, you just gotta tell me whatever's on your mind, so that our relationship—which hasn't been built yet—can be completely honest and strong. That's all."

It sounds cringy when she says it, like a moral lecture. It has all the proper vocabulary, too.

"Easy when you say it," He says, "and only when you say it."

"Not really." She says, flexing her shoulder muscles and jumping in front of him with a slight skip. "You can start by telling me why you were eating alone."

"Ha, ha," He smiles. "You're acting like a mom that's trying to make my friends for me."

"We can call it the fresh," She tries, walking backwards, as if that will help. "'Cause we're still fresh and unfamiliar with each other? You get me?"

Cringe.

"Not sure if I want to." Jungwoo raises his eyebrows slightly. "But I see a little bit where you're going."

"See?" She grins. "Wasn't that hard, was it?" And proceeds to trip backwards over a jutting tree root.

"You're going the wrong way." He laughs.

Jaesun gathers herself and rolls her eyes at him, straightening her t-shirt. "That wasn't honest." He walks past, and she follows him this time. "I will walk forwards now."

"You do that." He says distractedly, already fighting off his guilt. "You go first."

"I asked you first."

Jungwoo purses his lips. There's nothing wrong with this, he tells himself, and it's not like he has something to be embarrassed about. He just doesn't want...what? Why is he avoiding the subject?

"I'll tell you later." He promises. "Just...please. I can't say right now."

Jae raises her eyebrows at him doubtfully, but shrugs it off with a casual air that is much more than he can ask for. "What do you wanna ask?"

"For starters, don't you have other friends to skive with?" He says. The distance between them is a good four feet, as compared to the previous, which makes him wonder if he just ruined whatever progress they were making. "Or do you randomly pick up random boys to skip classes?"

"Nice opinion you have of me." Jaesun says. "I do have other friends. It's just that..." She glances at him with a guilty smile. "Your friends have partners too, don't they?"

He stares at her for a moment, and when she doesn't speak, realises that he's supposed to say something. "What?"

"That's why you were eating alone," She murmurs, more to herself, now staring almost dreamily at the ground as she walks. "That's also why I am not with I am here alone."

The blond looks away from her face, biting his lip. He feels unsure, saying anything, because there's still the feeling that she's closer to Lucas than him, being his neighbour and everything. He doesn't know if he's comfortable with telling her—there's the impending feeling that she could let something slip, something that he's managed to hide from his best friend for so long.

The effects of that are too scary for him to imagine. It might not seem like a big thing in retrospect, but there's still some of that fear. He wants to be the one to say it, if the unspoken thing is ever said.

But the problem is that one particular thing—despite their distance, Jungwoo is undeniably drawn to Jaesun. That only makes it harder for him to come up with something that may potentially destroy his image.

So he just replies with the first thing he thinks of.

"You don't have a boyfriend?"

She looks at him, eyebrows furrowed slightly, an unconscious expression of confusion spreading across her features. It changes further to surprise, then amusement. "If I did, I probably wouldn't be here."

"So..." He swallows against the rising bile in his throat. "You don't?"

"Far from it." She sighs, looking away, her expression wistful. "I've never even held my preferred gender's hand."

"Which is?" Jungwoo feels his heart drop to his stomach. If it turns out to be female, all his efforts would be in vain.

"Not sure, if I'm being honest," She shrugs. "But there's definitely some hetero in there."

The relief is immediate, and then he's embarrassed that he's relieved.

He glances nervously at the back of her hand, which swings at the side of her thigh, tapping away at the material of her batman pajamas.

His heart flutters in his chest, as if it's straining to break free, and reaches forward to intertwine his fingers with hers.

She looks down at their hands in slight surprise, and her eyes glaze over. "Oh."

His heart is now hammering inside his chest. He wonders if she can hear it, too, and his palm is clammy and sweaty and he's scared that she's grossed out by it—"Too far?"

Jae simply smiles, bumping his shoulder like a hyperactive dog on sugar. "You're nervous."

"Well..." Jungwoo starts, not sure where he's going, and she raises an eyebrow in his direction, like, well?

"Nothing." He says softly, almost in a whisper. His free hand curls in and out at his sides, trying to grab the words out of thin air, but he doesn't find anything.

And he never says anything, because before he can, she's already walking away.

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and he has to follow her cause he's holding her hand and everything i knoW it's just that he's too afraid to say anything now

i really feel like i'm messing up Jungwoo's character - is he too ooc?? but jaewoo makes me so soft i can't even tell you

another important question: should i republish cat boy for now? because i've already decided that it's the next book i'm going to work on once twfd is done, but updated will only start late cause i'll be going on a three month semi-but-actually-three-quarters-hiatus from late december.

thoughts so far? (way too many questions sorry)

love,
Manx.