'I Ain't One Of Those' ~ Bad Education Movie ~

5

CHAPTER 5: FORESKIN

Crys

Another boring, castle. We were walking along the courtyard as Susan was acting as our tour guide.

"Penleven Castle was built by Henry VI and in the court of Shugalin of 1497 the castle whitstood a seige for over 5 months" She told Class K.

We eventually walked into this religious room and that looked like church, no joke.

"Oh, look a witch!" Mitchell pointed at a nun.

"Its a nun, you tit" I corrected him. We we stood in the room we looked over to see another class that looked like us.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Susan asled as nooone spoke "Anything?"

"Where's the G-Spot" ~ Remm Dog

"Would you rather have no arms or no legs" ~ Joe

"Whats a haggas?" ~ Chantelle.

"Who would win in a fight, Gandalf or Dwayne The Rock Johnson" ~

"Obviously Gandalf" I answered.

"Hed choke slam him" He argued back.

"Hes magic" I told him sternly.

"Right, stop now" Susan said sternly.

"Have you ever heard of conditioner?" Stephen asked innocently.

"I meant questions about the castle!" She shouted.

"Apparently there is a priest hole in here that smugglers turned into a passageway, can we see it because it sound mildly less shit that this church?" Alfie asked sternly.

"There is no smugglers passageway" Susan corrected him.

"Yes, there is, i read about it online" Alfie sassed.

"I think what's sir ia trying to say is can he see your back passage?" Mitchell asked the whole class chuckled.

"Shut up, you little toad" Susan told Mitchell.

We were then brought into another church like room.

"This is Cornwalls most sacred relic" Susan whispered "Brought back from the crusades ans believed to have magical healing powers. Behold the prepuce of St. John The Baptist"

"Whats a prepuce?" Joe asked.

"A foreskin" Susan replied blunty and Class K groaned in disgust.

"Ew, they're praying to a bit of old willy?" Stephen asked disgusted.

"A 2000 year old holy relic which sheathed the baptists phallus" Susan answered then a there was a rumbling noise and Susan held her stomach.

"Exuse me, can you take me to the nearest WC?" Susan asked the guard.

"Im required to remain in this room-" He was cut off by Susan's booming voice.

"Take me to a toilet!" She shouted as they got up.

"We might hit uo the cafe" Alfie smirked.

"No, you stay here"

"Susan, this whole trip cant be dicated by your bowel movements" Alfie sniggered.

"If you sit here for 5 minutes quietly, i may arrange some free time thus evening" She replied as her and the guard left the room.

"Deal!" Alfie smiled happily "Free time means Pub crawl!"

"Yas!" Stephen said excitedly.

"All you've got to do is behave for 5 minutes -" He was cut off by a crash and we turned around to see Mitchell and the foreskin cage on the ground.

"Mitchell!" Alfie snapped.

"I just wanted to make a wish" He raised his hands in surruender.

"Its not a fucking genie!" Alfie snapped then noticed the foreskin was gone. "The foreskin where is it?"

We all started to look around for the prepuce.

"Whats going on, I heard a crash?" A blind man asled as his dog ate something like the prepuce. Alfie tried to get it out of the dogs mouth when Susan and the guard walked in.

"Everybody Freeze! Hands where i can see them, Im gonna need to search you all" The gaurd said threatingly as we all raised out hands.

"Whats that in your hands Mr. Wickers?" Susan asked then he showed one hand.

"Both of them!" He then turned around and he looked like he was going to be sick.

"Come on, Speak!" She threated. He was about to speak when Remm Dog spoke up.

"Here, I Got it" The Guard took it off him "See, Foreskin, innit"

"Well boy what were you doing with it?"

"Little man wanted a mircale so he gave it a rub and now he can walk" I stood up for him as he nodded then took both of his legs out of his wheelchair then stood up for a few seconds before falling over.