Sometimes it takes one to know one. I haven't been the best to be around. Pretty much the only thing I haven't done is bury my face in a table of drugs...and I'm not too sure I won't end up doing exactly that someday. My idea of myself...it's been more or less that I am without real flaws...and the more I think about it the more I realize I'm a huge flawed hot mess...just like everyone else. I guess my mother's female caretaker's name is Sedna...and she's total cunt. That explains why I never met her. She's got Asmoday pinned down and now I'm here right in the middle of it. I wish I knew what the fuck was going on. I want to step in but something tells me she would have me pinned on my back quickly, too. Asmoday is bigger and stronger than her, but it's clear my mother loves her dear ole caregiver, even if she is awful...so he's going to have to get comfy until she calms down.
"It's not so bad, Sedna. He's a decent guy." "Decent? I remember this thing from thousands of years ago. Raggedy fucking orphaned little reject, incapable of doing anything right." Jesus. I thought I was mean. "He always had a thing for you, but I thought you knew better than to let him in." I could sense my mother's discomfort, but she's never rude to anyone she cares for. "It's not what it seems, he was just leaving." "Maybe he was, but he's staying now." she ground the heel of her boot right into his sternum. I grabbed my own chest and winced. Fuck I bet that stings a bit. "I drop by to say hello and find you two rolling around on the couch. Fuck me, I failed at raising you. You're letting him turn you into a little deviant." I swallowed hard. Why did she have to bring that up? I really don't need to know that information. "Where is your husband? You're obviously married, let me meet him. Did you throw him out to screw the trash heap under my shoe?" I suppose I never noticed how good Asmoday is at keeping his cool. I would've already lost it on Sedna. He looked almost proud of himself. "He's around." My mom replied. "Around garbage, apparently. Get up off the floor and get out. Don't come around here." She lifted her heel off of Asmoday's chest and he rose almost knocking me over on his way out. "What are you doing down here?" he asked. "I heard something troubling." I replied. "Yeah, well..." we were cut off by my mom confessing that she'd married Asmoday. "She shouldn't have Sedna that." he said. I shot him a look. "That's not funny...that's not even a little funny. She seems the type to...wow. Look, leave the joking to me." He rolled his eyes as we made ourselves smaller against the wall. "So, should we run for it?" I asked. "Run? From her? Riiight, she's definitely not powerful or anything." "Powerful, but is she smart?" I asked. He laughed. "She's about as stupid as I am funny." "Uh oh." I replied. "Yeah, we're in trouble. Just wait until she lays her eyes on you. She will definitely make the connection." Great. "Why the fuck did you come here?" I asked. "I wanted to apologize to your mom." I looked at him. "Really?" I asked. "Really. I owed it to her. Then this happened. This witch has hated me since forever." "Now is probably not the time, but why?" I asked. "I'll explian when we're not sucking it in against a wall trying not to get fucked up, okay?" I nodded and held my breath. Sedna's shouting died down into what sounded almost like weeping. I snickered. "I had no idea being married to you was so tragic." I taunted. "I'm half of you." he replied without missing a beat. "Touche." I replied. I slipped around the corner and saw Sedna sitting across from my mom holding her head in her hands. "You've failed us." she said. I've never seen my mom look so damn sad. My blood boiled a bit. "You were pretty and full of promise. You pissed it away on him. Look at you...you look terrible. Have you considered literally any other man?" I growled a bit. "What the hell was that? Please don't tell me you have animals in your home...outside of Asmoday." My mom stood up and walked right past me. "Psst." She turned around and saw me. Asmoday waved from down the hall where he was pressed against it as tightly as he could. "You have to get out of here." she said in a harsh whisper. "Both of you. Now." "And let her keep talking to you like that? Not a chance." I replied. "I'm fine." she said. "You're anything but. Let me have a few moments alone with her." "Not a good idea. Go, get out of here...or at least find a better hiding place. Pressed against the wall? Seriously? All she has to do is look around the corner and you're both fucked." Ooh, mom dropped the f bomb. Not like her. I took the hint and fled with Asmoday right behind me. "You wanna tell me what the fuck that was all about?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure now is the right time. We're running for our metaphorical lives." I jumped a canyon and missed the opposite side by a mile. "Nice jump, asswipe." Asmoday said, making the jump with ease. "I am not athletic. I hate sportball." Asmoday jumped down beside me, straddling the narrow stream that I had managed to land in, ass first no less. "Show off." I muttered. "Ever been to my hometown?" he asked. "I have no idea where you're from." I replied. "Gehenna." I was surprised. "Gehenna? You mean towering skyscrapers and big parties Gehenna?" "Is there another?" he replied. "You just don't seem the type..." "Gehennans are a wild bunch...I used to be that way. You don't strike me as an Emberian." I snorted. "The City of Embers is pretty diverse. Emberians don't behave a certain type of way." "Oh but they used to. I could tell you some stories...but I won't unless you come to Gehenna with me." "Fine, but please don't make me meet your caregivers. I've had enough of those for awhile." He looked a bit down. "That won't be an issue." he replied.
