Surviving Cancer

Moving on

Denial. Anger. Numbness. Shock. Depression. Bargaining. Acceptance. So many different ways to cope with death. I scrolled through numerous google searched websites, but the thing that fascinated me the most was the time. The time is the person's choice. Some take a day, a week, a few weeks, a few months, a few years, some never let it go. I wonder which 'some' I will fit into. A hand taps my back shoulder and I nearly pee my dress. I turn around and see Tylar. I sigh in relief.

"Tylar!Jeez!" I say.

"Sorry, what are you looking at?" he asks. I move to my right so he can see the computer screen.

"Why that?"

"I don't know....to see if anything might help"

"You can't go off those types of websites"

"Why not?"

"Because they're not true"

"How?"

"Because their is not such thing as 'coping'. They say time heals all wounds, but that's not true"

"Then what is the truth?" I ask. Tylar walks to the door to leave and says, "Time doesn't do anything, forgetting does." I guess that makes sense. Time is just time, just like any other time. Time doesn't change because someone dies, it doesn't move any faster or any slower. It just keeps going, keeps ticking away. So in that time, it's natural to feel better, but time is a concept humans created, therefore, we have the concept of running out of it. We complain about things taking too long and then someone dies and we complain that it all went too fast, when really, time is just in our heads. So after someone dies, it would make sense, that in time we would forget about that person. Not completely, but enough to get out of bed in the mornings and comfortably continue on with our lives. But seeing as to some people never really do get over it, I would think it's because of time. They're stuck in this conscious where time is both unlimited and limited, so they think they have time to get over the loss, but at the same time they know they don't. So if we just forgot about time, there would be no age, no time periods. No lateness, earlyness, hours, years, minutes, seconds. We would all just be living, just being human.There would just be life. We wouldn't be scared to grow up or turn 80, because we wouldn't have any time to know when death was near. The world would be timeless, and if it's timeless, then there would be infinity time left, and that means that maybe there's infinity time left to survive cancer. And infinity time to forget that I have it. So that's what I keep telling myself, what keeps me moving on with my campaign and my ideas. Who's Cat? When'd she die? How did I know her? Maybe living in a nonexistent world won't help me in the long run, but forgetting about Cat for now did.