Connect

14: "Don't Touch Her."

I was pretty sure that the person lying against the wall was Kaito. Slowly, I inched close to his unmoving body and crouched down by his head. His face was turned towards the wall. At first, I was scared. What if he was dead? That's how still he was. Then, I saw his side rise and fall slightly, slowly, as though he were asleep. Quickly, I glanced around to make sure nobody was there, then I sat down on my bum and crossed my legs, smiling a little as I admired his handsome figure.

"Kaito?" I called softly. He reacted quickly, shifting so that he was lying on his back. He looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and I started to worry again.

"Gumi," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, I just saw you lying here and I got scared...because..."

He sat up straight, a soft groan escaping his lips. He stretched his arms like a cat and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, looking up at his face.

"I'm just tired...of my life," he mumbled. "That's what's wrong."

"You're not acting like yourself," I said a bit too quickly.

"I hate myself," he spat out the words scornfully. "I hate myself, I..."

"Stop!" I hissed, suddenly, impulsively, leaning forwards and clasping his left hand, which lay in his lap. He stared at me. My gaze softened and I felt a lump in my throat as I questioned my actions. Still, I pushed on. "This isn't like you, Kaito. Tell me why you hate yourself because I want to prove that you're wrong!"

"Huh," a sad smile traced Kaito's lips. It was quickly overtaken by a frown. "I can't do anything. I just...I feel expended. Done. Over."

I watched as he did something on his phone. He pressed it to his ears, hope daubing his brilliant blue eyes with dark clouds. His jaw was taut. He gritted his teeth and slammed the phone down on his knee. My right hand, which was previously clasping Kaito's left and now lay in my lap, was shaking.

"Kaito, who are you calling?" I whispered.

"Nobody," he answered. He was frustrated, I could tell, but I still didn't know why. "I'm so exhausted...I'm thinking of skipping the afternoon. What's your say on that?"

"Huh?" I frowned. "Skip school?"

He nodded. "I want to leave."

"You're not going to...commit suicide or something, are you?" I asked in a small voice.

"Not yet."

"Why are you scaring me?" I asked, desperation crawling along my insides like bugs. I was starting to panic. "Kaito, you can tell me what's wrong..."

"I'm sorry, Gumi, I don't know..." He took a breath and closed his eyes. "I don't want to be like this..."

"Kaito..." I whispered.

He looked at me sadly but his eyes looked different. I leaned forward, terrified of what could potentially happen in a few seconds. Gently, I pressed my palms down onto the floor and exhaled softly. I was moving by instinct, coming closer. He seemed to understand that, though he didn't react. All he did was watch me.

He looked so forlorn. My heart was throbbing. My chest ached. I couldn't stop looking at his face. I wondered, really, I did, if a kiss would comfort him. I had never kissed anyone on the lips before - I had never even fallen in love before.

But right then, I wanted to kiss Kaito. I just wanted to put my lips against his, as though the physical contact could somehow transfer some of my hope and energy into him.