Connected By a String

Chapter 3

Even when my breathing had returned to normal levels, we sat there, in each others arms and soaking in their company.

But, all good things must come to an end, I suppose. She soon pulled away, and looked me in the eye. Maria still had a good grip on my shoulders, not demanding, but... comforting, I suppose. She started rubbing in circles with her thumbs to assure me that it was okay.

Her kind emerald eyes bore into my tired, dull hazelnut ones, and she asked softly,

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ah, the words said by most parents after calming the children from a nightmare. It was obvious that she wanted me too, but her eyes held room for argument. She wasn't forcing me, but I kind of felt entitled to, because she helped me through that.

This kind of shows a problem. I'm mute, remember? She knows that I won't talk. She knows that I wouldn't even if I wanted to. If it was the only thing that I would like to do in this pathetic world, I wouldn't. I sometimes like to torture myself like that.

Or it's just that I can't remember how.

I tried once, y'know? But I couldn't. The air in my windpipe wouldn't put air into words. All I got was a whistle and tried again. A whistle. Again. This was a little better. A strangled whisper. That's when I broke. Started crying. I hear a clicking noise. It was Maria snapping in front of my face.

I faintly noticed that I was daydreaming.  That's when I saw that Maria was waiting for answer.

I'm pretty sure that Maria already knew what the dream is about. I've had them before. Shes helped me with them before.

Maria is a nice woman in her late 30s. About my size, not too large, not too small. Kinda like Aunt May from Spider-Man. Now that I think about it, I am kind of like Peter Parker in a way. Parents die in a horrible way, goes to live with someone else, just without Uncle Ben. And the spider bite. And super powers.

I wonder if Spiderman gets nightmares . . .

Never mind. 

What I was trying to get to was that I think of Maria of like an aunt of some kind to me. I'm pretty sure she thinks of me like a daughter. Maybe. I have no idea why. I would be a terrible daughter.

I shakily shook my head. After all this time, I still couldn't talk about it. She nodded and went to get up.

I looked at her with a broken look on my face and clenched my hands in the fabric of the couch. I didn't want her to leave me! I just lost my parents again! I didn't want her to leave too! My eyes seem to convey what my voice never could. She seemed to understand and just chuckled.

"I'm just getting something. I'll be right back, okay? Here-" she gave me a pillow "-hug this until I get back." She quickly walked off. I wasn't going to go into my mind again. I refuse to.

I waited about five minutes until Maria came back. She had something in her hands that I couldn't recognize. It was circular and black. As big as a small pillow. She plugged it into the wall and told me to sit up. She placed the thing on my lower back and turned on the switch.

My body turned to putty. It was a heated massaging pad. A silently puffed and leaned back into it. Maria glances over at me with knowing and somewhat satisfied eyes.

"You seemed really tense, so I brought out my secret weapon!" As she said this, she started laughing maniacally. I knew that she was faking, but it was still funny. I smiled inwardly.

Her eyes softened. "I saw that you were really tense. This usually helps with neck and back pain. Feels great, huh?"

I nodded, my back popping when it reversed its motions.

Maria reaches across me and finds the remote.

"Since neither you or me want or can't go back asleep, how about we watch re-runs of old cartoons?" She said, fully knowing that I have a soft spot for things like that. I nodded.

She scrolled through the channels until we found the late-night TV section. It was an 80's episode of Tom and Jerry. My favorite.

Just as the episode came to a close, I leaned on her and my eyelids began to droop. I knew I was falling asleep, but I didn't care. I would be safe with Maria here with me. She would keep me safe.

Just before I lost l consciousness, I felt something suspiciously soft on my forehead and a clicking noise. I was too tired to care, but I was too far gone to acknowledge the words spoken to me by soft lips.

"Goodnight Olivia. I love you."

At these words, I finally felt at peace to sleep. My string tugged in the direction of the wall, phasing through to wherever the one person that will love me no matter what.

My soulmate.

But until I meet them, I will have to settle down, knowing that at least one person is in my corner.

I just wish that I could tell her that I love her back.

She's my pseudo-mother. And that's enough for me.