Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 30

"I hope." 

"I love you." He says. The words make me feel warm inside. This is the first time he's said it since I started seeing him again. 

"I love you too." I say. Then I start to think back towards the letters. How does this work now that he's here? "The letters were a crafty touch." I say. He laughs. 

"I panicked. It would take me years to tell you everything that is in just one of those. I just didn't have enough time." He says. "By the way, you still are late for one." He adds. 

"Which one?" I ask. 

"There's one that was adressed to when you have the baby." He says softly. "It's deep." He laughs. I go to the closet and grab the shoebox full of letters. I find the letter on the bottom of the box and hand it to him. 

"Read it to me." I say, laying back down next to him again. 

"I can't hold it." He says. 

"Don't be such a lazy ass." I say. 

"I'm serious. I can't." He laughs. 

"Why?" I ask. 

"I can't manipulate matter yet." He says. 

"Yet?"

"Well I can push things over and stuff like that, but I can't hold things." He says. God, this is strange...

"Fine, I'll hold it then." I say. He nods and starts to read. 

"Dear Faith, I write this with a heavy heart, because I know I won't get to see her. I can already tell she's beautiful by the way you're glowing. She's made you so happy already. I'm sure now you're bouncing off the walls. Baby, make sure she knows about me. Make sure she knows that I love her so dearly. I would give anything and everything to just hold her for once. 

I trust you. I trust your intuition, as a mother, to take care of her. I know that raising kids is hard enough as is, but to do it alone is even more chaotic. Baby, I'm here. I will always be here for you. When things get crazy, just know that I'm here, in the smiles of those girls, in the breeze you feel, and hopefully, in your heart. 

I hope she has your eyes. You've always had the most incredible eyes. I could get lost in them for days. I hope she has my sense of direction, because that's really the only good thing of mine that I want her to inherit, besides my stunning looks obviously." Tim stops for a second while I laugh. "Make sure that little girl is pampered senseless. Make sure that she's respectful, wise, and patient. I pray she doesn't inherit my impatience.

Faith, just promise me that you'll make sure she has the happiest, healthiest childhood that a little girl could wish for. I love you so much -Tim." Tim concludes. I wipe my eyes from the tears that are blinding me. 

"It's okay baby." He says, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you so much." He says, giving me a squeeze. I laugh. 

"I love you too." I say. Just then, the door clicks and in walks Gary. 

"Hey superstar! How you feelin?" He asks. I look at Tim and back at Gary. "Have you been crying?" He asks, grabbing my box of tissues. 

"A little. I'm fine though." I say. I see Tim roll his eyes. He and Gary have had a rather fake relationship. Gary was always telling me that Tim was no good, and Tim was always telling me that Gary had a thing for me and to "not drop the soap". They are both ridiculous. 

"Well, we have a small press event to go to, so do you want to go ahead and brush your hair so we can get you all glammed up?" He says. 

"What is it?"

"The CMA's." He says. I cringe. 

"She's going to be there." I say, practically forgetting Tim is right here. He rubs my hand and looks up at me with sad eyes. 

"Don't worry about it, honey. She won't do anything." Tim says quietly, trying to make me feel better. I want to argue back, but then Gary would think I'm insane. 

"Don't worry sweetheart. That bitch will keep her mouth shut from now on. We had a long conversation with her publicist." Practically echoing Tim. The fact that he called her a bitch kind of rubs me the wrong way. She seemed like a nice girl. She's just young and naive, and Tim was drunk and dumb. 

"Alright." I say, getting up to brush my hair. Tim follows me. 

"I'm so sorry." He says. 

"It's okay." I whisper. 

"What?" Gary yells to me, overhearing me.

"Nothing!" I yell back.

"I hate that you have to deal with this shit. I should've told the press myself, or worked out something between me and her publicist." He says. I nod.

"It's okay." I mouth. Tim nods and takes a deep breath.