her favorite color was yellow| poetry✦

helpless

When we first met,
I knew I wanted you
It started small
I plucked the strings of innocence
and tied a knot of courage,
we became friends.

I remember the day I realized
this is more than a want,
I think I'm in love.
shit.

I can't pin point the exact time or date,
but I remember because suddenly
our time was fleeting
We never had much but
I found myself soaking up every second
and silently begging for more minutes

I had never felt so utterly
helpless

The way you smiled so softly
and it slowly lifted into your eyes
I wanted to be the reason you smiled

Your laugh was something
that could make any dark day light
your nose would crinkle and the bursts
would come and go
I wanted to be the one to make you laugh.

The way you danced when you felt
so alive
so free
and so careless
as to who was watching
How I wish to dance with you.

You think you are dull
but who's the one
who wants to be
a tattoo artist and move to Alaska?
I've always admired your colors.

You think you aren't smart
but who can analyze a script or a poem
and exalt with higher meaning
and a newfound gleam in your eyes
from knowing
Only you.

When you walk in
my heart
b u r s t s
Can't you see?

Helplessness floods my senses,
as you build magic with your words.
I can't help but wonder
what would it be like
if they were made for me.

I've never felt quite like this.
I hate the feeling of being so
vulnerable

but what can I do?
all the rules seem to change for you.