Cassandra

Chapter Eighteen

"And what is that?" He asked, trying and failing to achieve that same casual nonchalance.

"Let us not pretend that you do not know exactly what I am talking about." She said, suddenly becoming serious. Both of them straightened in their seats at her proclamation, and he wondered whether she was just as clueless as he when it came to what was going to happen in the immediate future. Maybe even she was not sure as to why she had come and what she expected from this meeting of theirs.

"If you mean for us to discuss what happened between myself and Lady Cassandra two weeks previously, then I must stop you right here." Kit said sharply, not wanting to let this continue any further. "I am in no mood to talk of it any more than I already have. I have spent the last fortnight explaining myself to my own relations and I certainly do not intend to explain myself to you, too."

"But that is exactly what I wish to confer about." Emily informed him with a wry smile. "It must be far from an easy subject for you to even think about, but this is a conversation that needs to be had, for your sake as well as my friend's sake. I am going to leave on a long, long journey soon and I need for her to attain all the joy that she deserves before I leave. I cannot leave anything half resolved."

"A journey?" Kit questioned, trying to avoid the subject, "Where to?"

"Wherever the wind takes me." She said whimsically, "But that is not what is important nor is it the matter at hand. What we must focus on is the relationship that is to develop between yourself and Cassandra."

"I wasn't aware that there is any sort of relationship there." He joked bitterly, "She made that very clear last time we spoke."

"There isn't, but there shall be. Cassandra has kept it all bottled up for the past two weeks, but she finally told me everything today, not even an hour ago. It was then that I realised that I had to come here if I wanted to resolve anything for her. She has been there for me through thick and thin, and now it is my turn to do exactly the same for her. If you'll listen, I have something to say about Cassandra."

Kit's mind raced as he weighed the pros and cons. Was Emily offering him a way to actually get Cassandra? Finally, he nodded reluctantly, wondering whether this was something her wanted to hear or not.

"To the rest of the world, she appears to be a proper, responsible, level-headed young woman who has understood just how the world works. Even she believes that she is this person when, in reality, she is not. She might project herself as being outgoing and mature and even happy but, in her heart of hearts, she is far from it. She has the love of her friends and family, but there is a hole in her heart where romantic love belongs and, as much as she would deny it, she is the kind of girl who needs that romance. I presume she has told you about her father?"

Again, Kit nodded and Emily took in a deep breath as she paused before continuing with her monologue. She had certainly caught Kit's interest with her words and he remembered observing this in Cassandra himself, though clearly not as deeply as Emily, who'd known her much longer, had.

"Her father was a rake, rascal and whoremonger. I apologise for my language, but it is the truth. While Cassie knows that all men are not as awful as he was, the only marital relationship she has ever properly known was a miserable one. Her mother was a sad, woeful woman who loved her husband too much for her own good. Cassandra, in the depths of her mind, is afraid of becoming like her mother, she is afraid of her husband being anything like her father. On the outside, she might appear to be a woman but, on the inside, she is the same little girl who had to watch as whores traipsed about the halls of her familial home, disappearing into the bedroom directly beside her mother's."

Emily's eyes became saddened as she described the atrocities of Cassandra's mother and everything she and her mother had to go through.

"I had no idea." Kit exhaled truthfully, more to himself than to Emily. He had known that her father had not been faithful in the least and that her parents' marriage had crumbled, but not that it had been this bad, not that she'd have to see the women he was being unfaithful with.

"It was awful for the entire family. While Alexandra's tragedy was that she could not fully understand what was happening, Cassandra and Nathaniel's was that they could. To see their parents, their father, reduced to that was not easy in the least. I didn't know her then, but she has told me in detail about everything that happened all those years ago and I cannot imagine living in such a situation. However, that was not the point I was trying to make."

"Then what was the point you wanted to make?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I am saying that Cassandra needs someone to gradually change her mind, someone to help her heal. She is still sensitive as a scared child at heart, even if she does not show it to the rest of the world. The smallest things prick at her soul and the smallest things hurt." Emily clarified, and Kit found that he was beginning to understand what she was getting at.

"What are you suggesting I do, then?" He inquired, waiting for a suggestion. He couldn't think of anything that he could use to rectify the situation, anything that would win him Cassandra's heart if she was as afraid as Emily said she was.

"I suggest you give her time, but don't give up on her. Her entire life, she has been used to having only her siblings and, later, me be there for her. Nothing else has been constant. She needs someone who can show her that they won't back down without a fight, someone who will still love her and who will still refuse to let go of her even after the dust settles. She needs you to be that person because, even if she hasn't admitted it to herself yet, she loves you."

"Do you really think so?" Kit asked, voice filling with hope as his eyes widened. He felt like a little boy again, his sudden hope making him feel younger than he's ever felt before. He did not mind, though, if his hope brought him Cassandra. He'd hope until he was old and gray and dying if it brought her even one step closer to him.

"I know so." She said, with a small smile as she stood, making it clear that she was going to leave soon. Kit was instantly glad for everything she had done. Emily Carter was a good person, someone who deserved more credit than she got. He'd be glad to call her a dear friend some day. "Choose what makes you happy, Christopher Weston, and go after it."

"Thank you for everything." He spoke warmly, coming to stand at the other side of the desk. "Good luck on your voyages."

"Thank you." She said and, to his surprise, she hugged him, just as his sister had so many times. Perhaps they already were friends. "And, please, make her happy. She deserves it. Look after her when I'm gone."

"I will." He promised as he pulled away from her, meaning every word. If Cassandra would only let him, he'd make her the happiest woman in the world.

Just as Emily made her way towards the door, it opened and Jane entered. Emily only greeted his sister with a quick smile before disappearing on the other side of the door.

"What was she here for?" Jane asked curiously as she stepped towards Kit to greet him with a kiss to his cheek.

"Just to share some very wise words."