A/N:
Not yet edited.
Nagising ako ng makaramdam ako ng kalabit. God! I can't open my eyes. I'm so sleepy, alas dos na yata ako nakatulog matapos namin mag usap ni Sandy.
"Hey, wake up..." she whispered. My eyes were still close.
"Please, let me sleep. Ang sakit ng mata ko." I lazily replied. Sobrang inaantok talaga ko at ang sakit din ng mata ko dala ng pag iyak.
"I know, pero kung hindi ka pa gigising dyan, e baka gibain na ng asawa mo yung pinto sa labas." she hissed. Agad akong napamulat sa narinig ko.
"Anong oras na?"
"It's 4 in the morning. Nasa labas si Carl at may mga guards syang kasama." saad nitong nag pa-panick na "Ano ba talagang nangyayari Celine?"
I sighed. Bigla akong napabangon ng makarinig ako ng kalabog sa labas.
"Open the door. Tell him I'm not here."
"Are you crazy? Akala mo ba maniniwala sya sakin? At bakit may mga body guards syang kasama? Is this all about the car who followed you?"
"Just... Please, I want to rest." I said in frustration. Ayoko pang makausap si Carl. I'm not used on hearing lies from people who are dear to me. Hindi naman nag sisinungaling sakin si Lance dati, that's what I remember.
Lies ruins relationships and my grandfather is very particular on this kind of matter. Kahit kami nina Sandy noon ay iniiwasan ito. Now, I would have to deal with it. Alam kong nasa sistema na ng tao ang pagsisinungaling and I've encountered liers lalo na sa business, maraming mga mapag samantala at sinungaling. But this one...
"I'll open the door. You two have to talk" mariing saad nito at nag dirediretso na palabas ng guest room.
I breathed deeply. I don't have any choice but to face him. Maybe I should pretend that the party bore me so, I've decided to go somewhere else.
Pero sino bang niloko ko? Carl wouldn't believe that kind of shit. I hate this. Everything's a mess, just when I thought na nagiging maayos na ang lahat. This is why I'm mad at feeling things... It wouldn't bring you anywhere, just a life full of misery and questions.
I sighed and went to the bathroom to fix myself. Suot ko pa rin yung dress na suot ko kahapon. I want to take it off and throw it. This is me... I don't keep things that'll give me a lot of unnecessary emotions. I will surely throw it later.
Paglabas ko ay bumungad sakin ang nag aalalang mukha ni Carl. He looked tired, mukha itong wakang tulog at suot pa rin nito ang suot niya kahapon.
"What are you thinking? Alam mong delikado, you should have waited for me!" he hissed. Na palitan ng galit ang nag aalalang mukha nito.
Nilagpasan ko ito at dumiretso ako sa bedside table kung saan nakapatong ang purse ko. I heard him sigh.
"You saw us..." he said in a more calm voice now.
"Let's go. I have more things to do in the office later." I retorted ignoring what he said. I don't want to talk about it. Hindi pa siguro ngayon. I'm still so full of information. I wanted to ask things but I don't know if I can take answers for now. Just remembering Belle's mocking face makes me want to forget everything.
"No. We will talk about it later kapag nakapag pahinga na tayo." matigas na sabi nito. "and you're not going to work today. Not until we fix this." he added with finality at dumiretso na ito palabas ng kwarto.
I suddenly want to shout at his face at batuhin ito ng kahit ano. Siya pa ang galit? And, what are we going to talk about? His lies? Oh, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
Pag karating namin ng bahay ay agad akong dumiretso sa kuwarto para magpalit at makapag shower na rin. I want to freshen up, to rest... I'm tired of figuring things out.
When I finish cleaning myself ay sumunod na pumasok si Carl upang magpalit na rin. I saw him shook his head and breathed deeply. Good thing at hindi na sya nagpumilit na kausapin ako kanina while we're on our way here. Gusto ko ng katahimikan. As much as possible I don't want to talk. It's tiring and I'm so damn tired.
I lie on the bed and felt the need to sleep. Ilang sandali lang ay naramdaman ko ang pagyakap ni Carl sa likod ko. His scent is achingly inviting that I considered thinking for a second to face him and hug him back.
"Carl..." I protested and move a little to show him my discomfort. Hindi porket sinabi kong mahal ko sya ay ganun ganun na lang yon.
"Please... Let me do this" he sighed "You're so stubborn. You made me so fucking worried. Sleep now, we're going to talk later."
My heart twitch a little. I wanted to push him away at the same time, I wanted to hug him back. But I chose not to do both.
Dahil na rin sa sobrang pagod at antok kaya hinayaan ko na lang sya. I didn't push him away, I didn't hug him back.
He's voice sounds exhausted and pained for the reasons I know nothing about. I really thought he loves me, but I'm having doubts now. A few months of being together doesn't assure me of anything, does it? Paano kung naawa lang talaga sakin si Carl katulad ng sabi ni Belle? Paano kung napilitan lang talaga ito sa kagustuhan ng mga magulang niya? I've seen how much he respects his parents.
I closed my eyes, refraining myself to think of anything. The mere thought of living again in lonesome darkness terrified the hell out of me. He let me see a glimpse of happiness and soon after I fully enjoyed it, it was taken away.
I felt him hugged me tighter as I let a tear came out of my eye. Few seconds I drifted off to sleep.
