FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

39.

"What?!  You love him?"

"I do.  It hit me last night when he came over.  I know it's quick, but Soph...  I have never felt that way with anyone before.  He makes me feel everything so damn deeply.  When he kisses me, I feel like I am floating.  When he pisses me off, I feel a profound rage.  When he looks at me, I feel like the only woman in the world.  And when he says he loves me, I feel all the passion in the universe burning inside of me.  He is a mess.  She broke him, like you can't even imagine.  But I love him that way.  We are finding ourselves with each other."  I try to explain myself, even though I don't need to.  My pace is quick and I so desperately want her to see him the way I do.  But it all comes to what I feel towards him that is important...  "I never thought there was somebody out there who would match me so perfectly.  It's almost too good to be true.  I remind myself that everyday."

"You are the most romantic and the most quirky woman I know.  Do you know that?" She giggles slightly to how intense I am behaving, but she doesn't laugh at me.  "But I get everything you say.  With seven billion people around the world, how can you expect to find your soulmate at the end of the street?"

"Do you feel that way with Lucas?"

"Yes, I do.  It might not always seem that way, but he triggers something in me.  We get each other.  He acts crazy, I act crazy, but we love each other and we'll never doubt that.  It's because we have such a profound connection that we let ourselves act that crazy around each other.  And he comes from Australia...  Never would I have thought that I would be saying all this cheesy stuff, but maybe that's just what you bring out of me."  She brightly smiles at me and wraps her arm around my shoulder to pull me in a hug.

"What do you think I should do?"  I look into her eyes and I feel so terribly lucky to have her by my side through everything I've been through since I first got here.

"You should let him explain the situation.  Now, you are freaking out on your own deductions.  If your bond is as strong as you pretend, I don't know why you would have run from him instead of addressing the matter directly."

"You're right.  I guess I must let go of what I am used to with Steeve."

"Yes!  Because I don't think Steeve's love will ever come as close as the love Marcel shows for you."

"You see it?"

"Even if he tries to hide it, he's changed and that's undeniable.  Just seeing you both earlier, when you got into the building.  I had never seen him so happy and so expressive.  You were both carefree.  I just find it sad that you have to be someone else for that to happen."  She speaks her mind and I completely understand where she is coming from.  We felt different.  We've never been so carefree together.

"I'm meeting his mum tomorrow... as Grayson."

"Grayson?  Clever name.  Don't you think this is too much, to lie to her about that?"

"I just want her to like me, no matter what I look like.  I don't think she takes me too seriously as Grace, I just want to show her how much I love her son."

"Then, I will send you positive vibes when the time comes."  She encourages me with her gorgeous smile and kisses my forehead.  I appreciate a lot her friendship.

"Thank you, for everything."

"No worries, girl.  Now, I'll go back to work and call your boyfriend's office to tell him you're waiting for him downstairs.  OK?"

I nod and we get off the counter.  I pull her into yet another hug and let her leave the restroom.  I look around and take Mace's cardigan to wrap around my shoulders.  I roll the sleeves of my shirt to my elbows and give a last look at myself in the mirror.  I look like myself, a lost and pathetic version of myself.  London gave me a chance to be who I truly am and who I have always to be.  Have I succeeded?  Or do I still hide myself behind everyone I have around me?  What truly defines me?