SGANF #1: Right Love At The Wrong Time

Chapter Four

He pulled me closer to him and I could feel him. Naliyo ako. I closed my eyes and my mind went blank. Parang tsunami ang aking utak, umiikot sa kung anu-anong naiisip, nararamdaman at nararanasan. How could he affect me so much in just a short time?

"Khim," bulong niya.

His lips were on my neck, softly planting kisses, and then itinaas niya ang aking baba para matingnan niya ang aking mga mata. His eyes were...confused? Huminga siya ng malalim at saka niya ako niyakap ng mahigpit. 'One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen-fourteen-fif-,' pinakawalan niya ako. It was fifteen seconds, that's how long the hug was.

"Maligo ka na at baka hinihintay ka na nila sa ibaba." His voice was back to casual.

Idinikit niya ang isang tenga sa pinto para pakiramdaman kung may tao sa labas at nang masigurong wala, dahan-dahan niyang binuksan ang pinto at saka lumabas. Isasara na sana niya iyon ng pinigilan ko. Isinilip ko ang aking ulo sa nakaawang na pintuan hiding my naked body and asked.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving." Mahina niyang sagot. "Ihahatid ko si Annett sa boarding niya"

"Babalik ka naman diba?" I don't know what kind of emotion my face was showing. But I am very sure that my heart's hurting.

Umiling siya at mapaklang ngumiti. My heart sank. I was hoping, really hoping that he would stay.

"Will you be staying with her tonight?" my voice was trembling and I felt my tears coming.

Huminga siya ng malalim at saka ako matiim na tinitigan. "Do I really have to answer that?" he combed his hair with his fingers loking hurt and confused.

Tanga. Katangahan nga ba na nagtanong pa ako? I thought I was just being brave facing the truth. Pero hindi, masokista lang ako, alam kong masakit pero sumisige pa rin ako. Lumapit siya sa pinto trying to touch me but I pushed him away and closed the door. Narinig pa niya yata ang paglock ko ng pinto.

Pinakiramdaman ko ang kanyang kilos, I don't hear anything. I started counting from one.....six-seven-eigth, I heard footsteps fading away. I covered my mouth at nagsimulang tumulo ang aking luha. Hinawakan ko ang aking dibdib, ang sakit. Para siyang isang malaking gong na bawat hagupit ng mallet, its sounds vibrates, just like the pain inside my heart, its throbbing painfully. I can't stop sobbing, the pain does not go away either. The more I think of it, the better the pain it gets me. This pain is just so familiar, no-mas higit pa, mas masakit, mas matindi, mas nakakabaliw. I want him so bad and yet I couldn't have him. Ayoko nito. Ayoko nito. I sobbed again, ayoko talaga nito.

Intro:

Nakita kita,

Kahawak kamay mo siya,

Nandito rin ako,

Pero hindi ikaw ang aking kasama

Ang ating mga mata ay nagtagpo,

Sakit ba ang ating natatamo,

Sa piling ng iba, kunwari ay sila,

Ngunit mamaya, tayo na pala...woo-oh-oooh

Chorus:

Bakit ngayon lang sa atin