fears || l.h [ ON HOLD ]

0.6

adelina

i told liz everything. over tea of course. ive got to say, it was hard, but there was no one to tell, and i couldnt keep it to myself. i was falling apart, and i was falling fairly quickly. i even told her about my slight crush on luke, and ashton.

"oh hunny.." she frowned, pulling me into a tight hug. liz was a mother to me, ive known her my whole life pretty much. "you should talk this out with luke.."

"i already blew that chance liz, he hates me now, probably trying to get rid of me at the moment." i thought about what he said back in my mothers room. he was afraid of losing me, so why was he pushing me away? none of this made sense.

"he could never hate you, this is all that girls fault! what was her name? madi?" she rolled her eyes, "i never approved of her."

"its dani, and shes my best friend.."

"a best friend wouldnt do all of this to you. shes out to get you, and dont let her do that." she looked at me with sadness in her eyes. i slowly nodded, agreeing.

"im going to text ashton and see if he wants to talk.. i mean i havent done anything wrong to him, so i dont know why he would be ignoring me.." i let out a sigh. i was tired.

"okay, i wont hold you up any longer hun, thanks for stopping by. lukes lucky to have such an amazing girl like you as a friend." and with that, i left, giving her one last hug.

+

i never texted ashton. because frankly he would just ignore them, as if nothing ever happened between us. and i was confused. about everything. and honestly, i was afraid. my one true fear, had actually come true.

"adelina? you home?" a familiar voice rang through the kitchen.

mom.

i smiled wide, running downstairs, pulling her into a tight embrace. which, thankfully, she returned, giving me a kiss on the forehead. "you alright?" i nodded, not wanting to talk. at least one thing was going back to normal, my mom was back. but i was not going to tell her any of the chaos going on right now, i dont want to stress her out. shes stressed enough from work.

+

hmm, to text luke or to not text luke?

im pretty sure his life is great without me right now.. but why did i feel as if i was lying to myself?

his works stuck to me. he was afraid to lose me. i was afraid to lose him. so why in gods name are we doing this?

i decided on calling him, so i clicked the call button before backing out, pressing the phone to my ear.

*ring*

*ring*

*ri-*

"hello?" an unfamiliar female voice rang through the phone. and it wasnt dani..

"um hey.. is luke there?" the voice was super shaky, and i did not expect it to come out like that..

"excuse me? this is lulu's flower shop, no one by the name of luke works here," she laughs softly, "but if you do need anything, the names marissa."

"im sorry! wrong number, thanks for the heads up marissa." i smiled softly, a bit embarrassed.

"no problem, good luck though!" and with that, she ended the call.

i ran my hands all over my face. maybe this was a sign not to call luke..

+

luke

god i was a mess. how could she go this long without talking to me?

i lost her, thats for sure.

i mean maybe it is my fault, i didnt tell her about us all going to the beach, but she was a mess and it was the right thing to do.

im trying to live without her, i really am. but i cant do it. god she means so much to me. maybe this has to do with dani? id do anything to make addie happy, because thats all i ever wanted her to be. happy.

but its hard, keeping dani and adelina happy. but adelina obviously meant more. so i needed to work this out. she needs to be in my life, a day without her killed me. so i took my phone out.

to: bestest friend in the world <3

i miss you a ton..

~

from: bestest friend in the world <3

really?

~

to: bestest friend in the world <3

yes, coffee shop in 10. see you there.

+

i didnt expect her to show up. i thought she hated me. but now i knew she didnt, and she was feeling the same way. hopefully.

"hey.." i said, handing her her order, sitting across from her.

"hey.." she said, looking down at hands, taking the cup from my hands.

"im sorry." i blurted out.

"so am i.." she sighed. "i didnt really realize how important i am to you and ob-"

"how could you not realize? addie, i couldnt spend a day without you. a fucking day. i was losing my mind!" i let out a breath i didnt know i was holding, running my hand through my hair.

"im sorry.." she mumbled, taking a sip of her drink.

"dont be, lets just go back to addie and luke." she nodded, giving me a small smile.

+

after about an hour, things were great, she was smiling and being herself. and i was happy.

we were interrupted by my phone ringing, signalling i got a text.

from: dani :-)

how could you stand me up like that? i was waiting for over an hour and you didnt show.

to: dani :-)

holy shit, sorry i forgot! i was busy.

from: dani :-)

too busy for me.

i groaned, of course i let something stupid like this come between us.

"you alright?" addie looked at me with confusion written all over her face.

"i forgot my date with dani and now shes upset with me." i rubbed my hands over my face.

"we should probably get going then.." she said getting up, i nodded, not really wanting to leave.

"want to come over for a movie night? just you and me?" i asked, feeling bad about bringing dani into our conversation, knowing how upset she gets when i do that.

she just shook her head, "dani's probably waiting." i nodded, getting up, walking her out to her car.

Okay, that was a horrible chapter.

It was a filler and I wanted you guys to have something to read, so yeahhh.

Sorry for any errors, hope you enjoyed!

Love always, Nicole xx