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Weight

It was spring. A time when the rain fought the sun and plants made their daring adventure upwards. Ivy was climbing trees and the mighty trees said little in return. The gasp I made as I turned to the left was nothing compared to the shaking of my knees as I discovered a small lake on top of the mountain. This was my reward. 

I felt I didn't deserve such a overwhelming treat. I would never grow tired of this. I unpacked my bag and laid out some food on a small patch of green grass near the water. While it wasn't much food I still decided it was an appropriate feast. I dipped my feet into the water and took multiple deep breaths. I felt that I was effortlessly meditating. There was nothing here to distract me.

The twitching of my eye had disappeared and I found bountiful joy in my isolation.  The climb had nearly been too much but with my greater effort I had managed to press on. 

The wind was icy but as I sat there in the sun the warmth seemed to radiate from everything the sunlight touched. I whistled a small tune into the wind and looked inward. I didn't even know why I felt compelled to come up here, but the desire was strong. Maybe desire wasn't such a wicked thing after all. 

Something caught my eye in my peripherals. A bird perhaps, something in the trees. I scanned vigorously and without intention. The ambient mood seemed to be lifting upwards. I craned my head and looked skywards. A single cloud seemed to be sending me a invitation. I watched curiously as it slowly seemed to be coming closer. As it was nearly upon me I smelled something; cigarette smoke. So that's what that cloud was. 

I turned around and made eye contact with another person. He stood a few inches taller than me and held a blank expression on his face. He didn't a have a hiking pack but his pockets seemed to be bulging.

"Hello," I said, slightly perturbed about my moment being interrupted by someone.

He said nothing but managed a smile. After a thoughtful few seconds passed he offered me a cigarette. "You smoke?"

"No I've never had the time to smoke. This has been the first I've gotten to myself in a while.." 

"We all have business to tend to," he said simply. His posture straightened up. "I started smoking in the Army. We all did it and no one cared much for people who didn't."

"Oh."

"Somethings never change. Like habits," he said. 

"I suppose so," I said. Man this guy was something else.

"Rocks." he said.

I tried to figure out the importance of rocks a thousand different ways before I stammered, "Excuse me?"

"Rocks," he said. "My pockets are full of rocks."

I stared at him for a second. "Oh you must have seen me looking at your.."

"Pockets," he said. 

"Right."

"I had intentions to swim out to the middle of the lake with rocks in my pockets," he said.

"You'll sink!" I gasped.

"That was the idea," he said significantly.

I said nothing and let his words hang in the air. So this guy wanted to swim with rocks in his pockets and sink to the bottom of the lake. He looked tired but strong. "I don't know why you'd do that but just by me looking at you I'm thinking you'll probably swim out there and swim back just fine."

"I was never a strong swimmer anyway. I figured if I wanted to die I'd want it to be in this place."

"Yeah this place is beautiful," I said completely ignoring his suicidal comment.

He sighed and glanced down at his feet for a second. Then he took a few steps toward the lake and asked, "Is the water cold?"

"Yes. I wouldn't swim in it if I were you."

He laughed. "I think you underestimate my resolve. I didn't come up here for nothing."

Things seemed to be heading the wrong direction so I just decided to be honest. "Look man if you jump in there and kill yourself I'm going to be scarred for life and I'll never be able to come back here."

"I'm actually lucky you're here. I don't want to be fish food after I die so maybe you can call the authorities after I'm finished," he said.

"Why don't you just go home and swallow some pills?" Wow that sounded bad.

"I thought about that," he said. "I don't want my wife to find me dead in bed. She'd never forgive me for killing myself in our house."

I looked at him in disbelief. "So instead you climbed mountain and picked up some rocks along the way and.."

"These are from my yard at home," he said.

"If you jump in there I'm going after you."

Everything stopped after I said that and I realized that the day was half way through. I said, "You know it's Monday right? This is going to ruin the rest of my week." 

"I know it's Monday! Don't you think I know what day it is? Of every God forsaken reason for me not to kill myself you say 'it's Monday, it's Monday!' Well who the Hell are you to tell me it's Monday? You think I care about what my killing myself will do to your week? You know how many bad Mondays I've had in my life? Did you ever lose three brothers on one Monday in the line of duty in YOUR lifetime? No you just forgot to make coffee the night before or something and had to go caffeine-less for a few hours at work. Ooo, wow, what a hard life!" he spat out. 

"It was a joke!" I threw back  at him defensively.

"That's not a joke, this is: I once met a woman who was so flat she only spoke in monotone."

I stared at him.

"Or how about this: I always thought blow up dolls were sexy but I'd never have sex with an Al-Qaeda chick."

I continued to stare, unsure of what to say.

"Or if you really want to laugh let's just start talking about Tom Cruise!"

"I think you've gone off the deep end," I said. 

He chortled in glee and said, "how appropriate."

What was left to say?