Living with the Boys [Complete]

07. Confessions

"I might take you up on that sleepover, maybe a change of scenery will help." I agree as I pay for my iced coffee, yes it's winter and I'm having a cold drink but whatever.

"Fucking 3 guys is getting a little too much for you?" she whispers and of course I was not expecting her to say that, so I nearly spit my fucking coffee out while she is dying in her chair laughing.

"Don't say things like that out loud!" I scold her, even though I am trying to tame the smirk that wants to come out on my face, I know it's wrong but it also feels so right to have the attention of those 3 amazing guys.

"Am I lying though?" She replies with that cute smile of hers and I'm no longer angry, I know that she isn't making fun of me but just joking around which is what she always does so I can't expect anything else.

"It is tiring but they're worth it." I say with a happy smile knowing that they are worth any drama that I might be going through because of living and being with them.

"You know it never works out, right?" She asks and she has this serious and worried look on her face, which is different because up until now she has been all about me enjoying being with the guys and what comes with that.

"What never works out?" I ask even though I have a vague idea of what she is talking about.

"You don't think that this four way relationship is going to last forever right? You haven't fallen in love with them, have you?" She asks and I think she is genuinely worried about me, which is something I am not entirely used to but I seem to be getting a lot since I have started university. They say that it changes you but you never quite know how until you're there and living in a completely different way than you're used to.

"The guys haven't said anything about this not working out for them, and for your other question, of course I'm in love with all of them. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing this in the first place, I'm one of those women who needs to feel something for the person she's sleeping with." I explain and watch the frown on her face get deeper and deeper, guess she was not totally on board with my weird relationship.

"Of course this early on they're not going to say anything but do you really think it's healthy you being in this relationship when you know it's not going to last? I just don't want you to get in too deep and then be a wreck when it all falls apart." She warns me and it feels so surreal to hear the fears from inside my head being spoken aloud by someone else, hearing them out loud period makes them seem all the more real and scary.

"Did I hit a nerve?" She asks after I stay silent for a couple moment longer than I probably should have, when I really don't know how to reply to her.

"Can we go somewhere else?" I ask because weirdly this conversation has taken a very deep turn and I feel my eyes misting up, and I do not want to cry in front of everyone.

"Of course honey." She gives me a brief but much needed hug before we throw away our cups and of course I can no longer leave and enter a room without hearing someone whispering about me, you would think I am in some sort of teen high school movie with really bad narrative, but yet this is my life now.

"You have this really weird way of knowing exactly how I'm feeling and it's sometimes a little bit too much, because as you can see I am close to crying." I laugh a little as I try to wipe my eyes in a way that nobody sees, I hate crying in front of people.

"It's a blessing and a curse." She jokes beside me and once again she has managed to lift my mood a little bit, I love having her as my friend.

"It's definitely a blessing, I wish I could read people so easily." I say randomly as we fall into a comfortable silence walking through our campus and for a second I am taken back because there were many moments where I though I would never make it to this stage, I am the first of my family to go to university and I am damn proud of that.