Crystal ball

Just breathe

Just breathe,
You're going to be okay, I tell myself.
My hearts racing
My breathe is closing in on itself
I'm quite familiar with this feeling.
I have become accustomed to it.
I could hyperventilate further
Listen to the fearful thoughts racing through my mind.
I could stay in bed all day and despise the come down.

A panic attack every day,

Eventually it becomes apart of your routine.
I feel my de-realisation kick in
But I remind myself, this is real.
Sometimes in life bad things happen.
But that doesn't mean I won't enjoy the brief glimpses of happiness I receive
A sip of green tea first thing in the morning
A spring breeze
Birds chirping
A moment to write
All the while anxiety is in the background waiting to explode
With each stressful event it comes to the surface
My arms seizing up but I will keep writing...
Until the panic takes over.
If I experience 5 minutes of happiness, I will cherish it
Even if there's hours of anxiety.
Because At least there is some reminders of the joys of being alive.
So I will wait until my recovery:
Where there is hours of happiness and only minutes of anxiety.