Let me heal you? Let me love you. [College AU]

The call (Part one)

Unedited

Castiel's POV: (I'm so sorry)

I don't matter. 

I've been here a week or two now. I have no way of knowing. When I first got here, I locked my phone in the bathroom in case of emergency. But even if he was trying to kill me, I'd let him .

Without Dean, what's the point?

He hates me and it's all my fault. I made my saviour hate me. I made Dean disgusted at the thought of me. He has probably read the note by now and is feeling pity for himself because he actually slept in the same bed as me. 

God, I wish I could go back to those times, of being able to sleep in Deans arms, and him kissing my forehead, and him telling me that he'd do anything for me. 

But surprisingly enough, the thing I miss the most, is him calling me Bluebird. 

I wish I was still his Bluebird. But that's selfish of me, he deserves better and I know it. He knows it. Hell even Balthazar deserves better than me. 

So here I am, completely naked, bleeding from... there, from last night. 

He should wake up soon, I can't make him breakfast yet, I'm not used to the ache in my lower area as I normally am. I can't take much more right now, I get up and crawl to the bathroom. I'm such a pathetic sight. I lock the door behind me, and sit against the wall. I'm slouching extremely, wanting to put as little pressure as possible on my but. 

In my head I have called Dean many times, I don't actually know if my call has actually made it through, or if I just imagine his responses in my head. Which is extremely possible. I am certain that I have officially gone insane. 

I decide to call dean once more, just to hear his voice. I know it's selfish of me, and I shouldn't bother him. I just need him. I love him so much. 

I crawl over to the toilet, and reach behind it, inside the plastic bag behind there that also has some of my other belongings. And Deans bracelet. I wouldn't dare put it on for Balthazar to see. He would ask questions. And then he might kill me. But being found with a belonging of another man and looked down upon for loving him, is not how I intend to die. I don't want there to be any chance of dean blaming himself, not that he would care. 

I hit the power button and wait for it to turn on but of course... 

"VIRGIN MOBILE!" My phone plays the starting music. On full volume. 

"Mph" Balthazar groans. Oh god, I woke him up. "You little shit, where are you?" He screams. 

I have to do it quickly. 

Deans POV: 

I've been driving all night. I've had to stop only once to refill the gas tank, I havn't eaten since I left 10 hours ago. I am nearly 40 minutes away from him. I'm not even sure if he is alive. But I need him to be. If I get there and find that he's died, I'll kill Balthazar slowly and painfully. Hell even if he is still alive, Balthazar life will be ended. 

I love him. 

I know it now, I will always love him. I always have. 

If Castiel is dead, after I kill Balthazar. I will kill myself. 

My stupid car has no gas left, again. And if the fact I just insulted my baby, doesn't say how much I miss him, then nothing ever will. 

I pull over at a gas station. It's extremely expensive, but once again I'll say it. For my Bluebird. Anything. 

I hate to stop for anything when I'm so close to him, but at the same time I'm so far away. I pay with a card my brother gave me, since I don't have one of my own. I run in and get an energy bar real quick. I don't want to be useless when I'm protecting my bluebird. 

My phone rings as I get back into the car. I would have ignored it but everyone who has my number knows not to call  unless it's an emergency. So I check to see who's calling as I get back onto the road. 

As soon as I see who is calling, I pull over. 

It's my Bluebird. 

Extreamly short, but the next will be better.

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