Her love

Chapter 2

     The past two years of not being with her and pretending I didn't care made me realize it doesn't matter to me anymore that I can't be perfect for her. That I couldn't be what she deserves. She's mine.

To protect and care for, I want to be what she wants. Not just for now but for as long as I can. Sophomore year was a busy time, too much was going on, I had to step up and provide for my family before I could even mourn my father's death.

La familia es lo primero. My father used to say, family first.

 I've been the one trying to hold us together since he died.

Mama needed me to work more and keep Steph and Tinny out of trouble, Stephanie is 16 and Martin is 7. And I wanted to help as much as I could at least.

I've had a job with my uncle at his autobody repair shop since I was 12.

I work 30 hours a week, and yeah every now and then I skip a class or two just to go to work.

My life was too busy to drag Kat into, so I pushed her away and made her hate me. We were cool before it happened.

I met her on the first day of classes.

    She was this cute shy freshman that couldn't look me in the eye, let alone give me the amount of sass she does now.

     As a sophomore I knew my way around, so decided to play nice, show her where to go, from there we just became friends.

We hung out sometimes outside school, but I usually just walked her home and stayed until right before her parents got back.

Most of the time we spent together was joking around in class and talking at lunch, I started looking forward to seeing her everyday.

      When summer break was around the corner, I started to wonder what excuses I could find just to see her during that time.

Loco right?

She was my distraction from all the responsibility that started piling up. My dad passed in January that year, an aneurysm. I never told anyone not even her, only friends who knew my family knew. I thought I could do both be there for her and my family, but often I'd spend time with her over them, making up excuses for my mother.

A week before break we were walking home from school and she told me she liked us, whatever we were.

I smile at her memory. She looked up at me and smiled this completely innocent smile, that I'll never forget.  It was the same day my mom nearly collapased from exhaustion, all because I was to focused on myself and Kat.

That's when I knew I needed to walk away before she wanted to be more than just friends, I couldn't give her more than friends. Not while my mother was killing herself to provide for us and grieving the death of my father. i couldn't be selfish.

I couldn't be what she wanted not because I was interested in other girls but because I knew she was the one person in my life I'd give up anything for and to protect, to be with.

     But then other people mattered too much to be reckless, they still do but now Stephanie is older and working and Tinny is growing up too.

So now is my chance, I'm tired of waiting. I want to make us work.

*****

"Santi!"

"Si, mama?" I say walking through the front door.

"Ven aquí! Hay una carta en la mesa para ti. (Come here! There's a letter on the table for you.)"

    She looks back while drying her wet hands on a dish cloth.

"¿Una carta? ¿De quien? (A letter? From who?)" I ask picking up the letter and opening it.

       I start reading it then fold it and put it in my back pocket.

"¿Qué dice? (What does it say?)"

I look up, "Nada, mama just school."

I know she probably knows about the college letter, I've been trying to avoid the subject with her.

    I haven't given much thought about post graduation, I just know that I'll need to work.

"Hijo, sabes que no tienes que quedarse con nosotros todo el tiempo. Conmigo.... (Son, you know you don't have to stay with us all the time. With me...)" She says siting down.

"Si mama, pero yo no quiero dejaros solos. Quiero cuidar de nuestra familia. ( but I don't want to leave you by yourselves. I want to take care of our family.)"

Sitting down beside her and grabing her hand.

"Entiendo hijo, pero tienes que cuidarte demasiado. Y tu futuro.( I understand son, but you have to take care of yourself too. And your future.)" She says squeezing my hand.

"Si mama, " she jumps up and grabs her bags and keys.

"Llego tarde al trabajo, no olvides recoger a tu hermano. ( I'm late for work, don't forget to pick up your brother.)" She says on her way out.

Pick up Tinny on your way home.
I text my sister.

Fine, pero mañana es su día tengo el trabajo después de la escuela. ( but tomorrow's your day I have work after school.) She sends back.

I grab my keys off the counter and head to work, I drive my father's old car, it works and its not too old.

Vale,👌

I text back on my way to work.

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:)