Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 13 (Shattered)

I was in quite a shock to say anything. Nobody has ever laid a hand on me considering the fact that I was the youngest child. Sometime I do the most irritating thing and my sister would just shout at me, but never slap me.

As tear rolled down my now red cheek, I waited for Amira to say something. But she didn't. She turned around and left my room leaving me in an empty silence. I wanted her to say something, anything. What am I gonna do? If Imran and dad finds out they will surely ship me off to Saudi and when I say ship, I mean with the rest of the furniture that we packed yesterday.

Collecting all my thoughts, I made my way downstairs. Amira was in the kitchen having a cup of coffee. I sat next to her in the stool and as soon as I sat she got up to leave. I held her wrist and with much force she tried to break away but I wouldn't give in. So she sat back down.

"Im sorry Datha. Please talk to me."

Nothing.

"Datha please look at me. Please talk to me. Hit me again if you want, yell at me and tell me off. Anything but silence please" i cried. She looked at me and she knew I was really sorry but I could see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes.

"I am so disappointed in you Amina. How long has it been since mom passed away? Not even a week. Dad is still in the hospital and we are all trying to cope with all the changes but look what you're doing. Were you gonna marry him behind our backs as well?" I didn't know what to say to her so she continued.

"Forget about mom and dad. Have you thought about Allah. Do you know how much sins you're committing. Surely Allah is All-Forgiving but have you no guilt inside you? Only Allah knows how long this has been going on and what you two have been doing. I feel disgusted with you."

"Please, no its not like that" i cried. "I love him, I only maybe realized this now but I fell in love with him. He is so sweet to me and caring and he makes me happy. Isn't that what love is?" She remained silent.

"How long have you known him? Surely you have been hiding this from all of us for a very long time."

Should I tell her that I've only known him a week? Was a week enough to fall in love with someone? I certainly know that it was but my sister wouldn't understand. "How long Amina" she asked again.

Stuttering my words I finally managed to say "One week".

"WHAT?" The horror look on her face was evident. "Amina what have you done?" she put a hand on her head "How can you say that you love him after only a week? Its only attraction. Does he say he loves you as well?"

"Well... I didn't tell him yet. I only realized that I love him today. I don't know how he feels but I wasn't going to tell him anyways. It might scare him off."

"Ya Allah, please guide this child. Amina, listen to yourself. This is not love. Love comes after knowing a person, after completely trusting a person. To trust that he will never break your heart. To know that he will always make you smile. You should understand that what you are doing is Haram (forbidden). What if you both break up? Then what?"

I haven't thought this far ahead and as much as I hated my sister telling me these things I knew she was right.

"This is not love, its just affection. Please don't commit sin Amina" she sighed and continued "I cant keep this matter to myself anymore. I have to tell Imran and Dad."

"No please don't do that. Please. I am so scared. Dad would never talk to me or even look at me again. Please don't do this to me. Please" i begged her.

"I didn't do this to you Amina. You did this to yourself. What are you going to do now? Surely I wont let you be with him in the haram way."

I cant lose Omar. I love him. I cant lose him right after realizing that I love him.

"I can talk to Imran and Dad, if you're willing to make your relationship halal (permitted). That means you would have to do the Nikkah (marriage according to Islamic law) first".

Nikkah? Was I ready to marry Omar? After knowing him for a week. Wasn't this too soon?

"I know that it may seem to soon as you don't know him well enough..." after thinking for a while she said again "we can engage you two and then you can get to know him. That would be fair".

A smile actually spread across my face. Wow. I can actually marry Omar if I wanted to which I do. But what's better than that is that I can get to know him better before I marry him. Surely Omar would be okay with this as well but I'd have to talk to him in person first. I nodded to my sister and she looked somewhat relieved than before but the hurt is still evident in her eyes. "What if he doesn't want to marry you?" She said after a silent thinking. What? Why would she assume anything like that.

"He would. He told me if he had to marry me, he would marry me in a heartbeat" i told my sister remembering the text he sent me.

"But thats the thing Ami, he would marry you if he had to marry you, not because he wants to marry you." I can feel the anger rising inside me.

"What if he doesn't wanna marry you?"

"He does!" I was furious.

"What if he doesn't?" She said.

"He does!!!" I could barely control the anger.

"What if he doesn't?" She said again making me lose my temper.

"Then I'd forget all about him and marry the first man you chose for me." I screamed in the her face and and made my way to my room. But I swear that before I left, I saw her smiling. That frustrated me even more. Why would she smile at something like that? Was she so sure that Omar wouldn't marry me? He would marry me, right? It felt like more of a question to myself rather than a statement.

My sister decided to stay back another week before going to Saudi. She hadn't told my dad or Imran anything yet and she was waiting until I talk to Omar. It was Monday morning and I got ready for school after praying. My sister was in the kitchen and I didn't wanna argue with her so early in the morning. I skipped breakfast and made my way to school. I needed to talk to Omar before class started. Searching everywhere for him, I sent him a message.

Me: "Where are you? I need to talk to you"

Omar: "Can't come to school today. Will talk later." Ouch. Subtle much.

Omar: "Family stuff. Hope you understand. Xoxo"

Me: "Alright. Take care."

With Omar not here with me, even Mathematics was a bore to me. I didn't talk to any of friends much and they thought it was because I was missing my mom so they didn't say anything. When school was over, I dreaded going back home so I went into a little café near the school hoping a cup of chocolate milkshake would help me cheer up my mood.

Sipping the milkshake as I walked out of the café, I heard some noise in the alley nearby. I didnt even wanna go in there but it was Omar's voice that I heard. I went to take a peek and looking ahead of me I dropped my milkshake on the ground. He was kissing some girl stroking her hair as they both giggled and he played with her hands. They both looked in my direction and the girl was clearly annoyed. But Omar was shocked and speechless. I didn't know what to say. As I fought the tears threatening to escape my eyes I turned around and ran with Omar behind me screaming my name.

"Amina". I didn't wanna hear him anymore. I closed my ears shut and ran. I didn't know where I was running but I ran and ran until I fell down on my mother grave. Tears rolled down my eyes.

"Mommy".

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT