Almost, but Not Quite

Therapy (pt.2)

Different person, same therapist.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can; that's what I'm here for." She stated calmly, for fear of making me uncomfortable. I sighed.

"I feel like, like I'm no longer living for me. The cancer's got me by the balls, man, and I know I'm gonna die. I can feel it in my bones. I mean, obviously I can feel It because of the bone cancer, but you know those moments where you just know something's gonna happen? It's like that. But I still do the Kemo and radiation treatment. Why? Because I've gotta mom and a little sister who need me to live. Sammy's only 7. She wouldn't understand if I gave up. She needs me. My mom needs me. Do you know what it's like, having so many people depending on you when you know you're dying?"

"Luke, they understand that it's hard to fight-" she started, but I didn't let her finish. I had too much to say.

I gotta get this out.

"I've gotta girl back home, Ms. Jackson. She's beautiful, damn, She's every-thing. She sends me letters every Sunday, when she gets home from singing at church. Her dad's a preacher. I was gonna marry her. As soon as I finished college, I was gonna come home with a job and a ring, something worthy enough to put on her finger, and I was gonna marry her. Instead I came home with Bone cancer, and a 10% survival rate."

"Marry her anyway." Ms. Jackson stuttered. My jawed dropped as Ms. Jackson stood from her seat, making her way to look out the window.

"Excuse me?" I choked.

"Here, take this ring. I've been divorced for 2 years now, I don't know why I still wear it," she started, slipping the diamond ring off of her finger and tossing it to me.

"I don't understand." I muttered in disbelief.

"Walk out of here, and go marry that girl. So what if you have cancer. Yes, you're dying. It's painful and awful, and you have people who need you, but cancer doesn't have to be the last thing people remember of you. Go get that girl of yours. Have her father marry the two of you, take all of your money, and you and your girl take Sammy and your mom to Disney world."

"But-"

"Make these last few moments together the best you've ever had, so that when you die, they don't talk about how sad it was or how sick you looked. They talk about how much fun you had."

"I don't want to marry Elliot just to die."

"Then marry her, and remember why you fight. 10% is not 0. There's always a chance, Luke. Are you gonna be the one to take it?"

I said nothing more.

I just hugged her.

And then, I left.