Almost, but Not Quite

Repugnance

I guess what I wish I would have said was that I hate you.

That I absolutely despise you.

That I wish I had never met you; cause if I hadn't I wouldn't long to see you smile at me. I wouldn't care if you had noticed my presence.

I wouldn't want you to miss me.

I hate you. In every sense of the word, I hate you.

I hate that I can't focus when you walk into a room.

I hate that I silently plea with myself to keep my composure upon seeing you.

I hate your laugh.

Your smile.

Your jokes.

Especially your jokes.

They're corny and cheesy and then make me laugh and I hate that.

I hate you for hurting me.

I hate you for not loving me back.

I hate myself for being strong enough to know that I hate you.

I hate myself for being weak enough to think I need you.

I hate myself for being kid enough to think you'd ever change.

So I guess I don't really hate you at all.

I hate me.

I hate me for thinking that I could depend on you.

That I could trust you with my heart.

So congratulations. You made the good girl fall in love with you.

You made the innocent, sweet, church girl fall head over heals for you.

And then you broke her heart.

Go collect your prize.

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Congratulations, man. You made the good girl cry over you. Hope you're happy now.