Love Letters

Brandon

Dear Brandon,

We are sixteen and I'm on the way to Nathan's house. I open the door, I come inside, and there you are. No longer do you have shaggy long to your shoulders hair. You look at me and ask if it looks alright. I've never seen you so nervous, biting your lips as you stare into my eyes because you can tell when I lie. I can see your face now- your hazel eyes and the sharpness of your jaw without the locks of blonde curls in the way. I never thought that my feelings for you were love until that moment.

At the age of fourteen I want nothing to do with you. You weren't a bad boy but, you were always getting in trouble for flirting with other girls. You were that type of guy no one could understood. I was one of them. I got under your skin and you got under mine. We fought every art class we had together as our teacher scolded us each time yet never changed our seats. I thought about you all the time- that you were annoying and just another dumb boy. Thinking back, maybe I loved you then. I mean, you were my every thought. At fourteen you became best friends with my best friend, Nathan. That's what everything changed.

We are sixteen and you just had your first break up. You tell me you love her. My heart breaks because I know you never deserved her. She was that type of girl that was just a bully, a girl who didn't understand like I did. She broke your heart and here I was trying to mend it. I knew I could love you better than anyone else. I knew you better than anyone else. But, the next few months pass and you find her. The girl that now at nineteen you're still with. The girl who took my place as your shoulder to lean on- the one who you tell your bad days to. A girl you bought a ring for. A girl you love endlessly and can I see that she loves you too.

Looking back at sixteen, I remember loving you. I remember when you first told me about your stepfather hitting you and that I wanted to be the one to heal pain. I remember the first time you telling me about your sister you've never met. It was the first time I had ever seen you close to tears. I was the one you used to let your guard down to for two years. And I remember at eighteen when I was told you had a crush on me when you were sixteen. So every once in awhile I'll think about what could have been. That maybe we could have been meant to be or that we could have been something. But you're in love with her, and you'll never know I was in love with you too.

And some days, I think I still am.