So it Seems || Harry Styles

Chapter 22

"So what you're just going to go back to her? She won't take you back." She called after me.

"I'm going to try, at least I'm doing something then siting there and being depressed all the fucking time."

"You're choosing her over me? Harry, belive me you don't want to do this," she caught up to me and grabbed my shoulder.

I stopped in my tracks. "Are you still going to be my friend if I get Camilla back?"

"Fuck no," she says coldly.

"Then that's that. I'm getting Camilla back, so you made this decision for yourself." I continued on my way to the cafeteria.

"I'll tell her Harry," I hear Lily say from where I left her. I turned around. A smirk smeared on her face. "If you get back with Millie, I'll tell her all about your litte flings you had after Kayla. Or what about the one with Nicole, while you and Kayla were still dating?"

My eyes grew wide, "You won't."

She chuckled, "Oh but I will."

"She won't believe you."

"I think you forget how convincing I am. Hope you're happy with your choice, Harold. I know Millie won't be happy after she hears what I have to say."

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Here I am; with no best friend and no girlfriend. Alone, it seems like; feels like.

I sit in my room, all that's left for me is my journal. The incredible one Millie gave me that has "Merry Christmas, Harold - Love Camilla" engraved in the back. I try to write poems, but they all end up about her. I'll start by drawing a tree, or a bird, but somehow I end up sketching her face, and spending too much time drawing her lips. God, those lips.

On days like this I need someone to talk to. But not someone who will respond back, just someone to listen to me. And I know the perfect person.

I get in my car and drive, for what seems like hours, but is about twenty minutes to the outskirts of town.

I stop when I reach the pathway to the large, green field. I haven't been here in so long.

I get out of my car and walk. I pass by people laughing, some praying, some crying. Once I reach where I'm headed, I stand for a moment, close my eyes and think.

I look down at my feet. Kayla Marie Trier, is printed on the gray, cold, stone. I sit down, inhale; here goes nothing. Exhale.

"It's been a while," my voice is shaky. I clear my throat. "And...I'm sorry I haven't came to visit you, or speak to you so long. It's just hard..." I look up at the sky. I wonder if she can hear me.

"I miss you so much Kayla. Lily misses you, your family misses you. Everyone misses you. It's hard living here when you're...there. I hope where ever you are you're happy. God, I hope you're happy. You deserve to be so happy. I know I messed up a few times with us Kayla, and the guilt sits with me to this very day. I don't know why I did some of the things I did. I loved you so much..I still love you. I always will."

I pause and think about the times I had with her, all the laughs and smiles we shared together. The silences, the arguments, the fights, but somehow they still brought us closer.

I smile to myself. "Remember the time we found our little secret get away? We would run there every day after school just to have some time alone. Remember when you fell off the rock? You thought you broke your arm but it was just a bruise. You were so funny about that type of stuff, a little dramatic but it was cute."