After The Apocalypse

Snippet #3

Author's Note: They got high in Munich. 

Surreal. Absolutely surreal. I'm standing in the middle of a cobblestone road in the deserted city of Munich, stoned out of my mind, and this city is my bitch. I turn to Jo, who's leaning against the wall of a building with her eyes closed and a smile plastered on her face. Suddenly I get all giddy and run up to her at full speed. I crash my left hand into the wall next to her, and halt. I've done that romantic pin-a-girl-against-the-wall anime thing how fucking dope. My face is really close to hers. She opens her eyes, and we make about five centimeter eye contact. Tension. Tension. My heart flips and my stomach flops. They like this. I haven't had tension in too long. But now is not the time.

"Do you have the energy to climb a lot of stairs?" I ask her.

"No. No, I really don't."

"Great, let's go."

We came here on a class trip once. There's a tower from which you can see all of Munich. We break in and walk up what feels like 3 million stairs. Granted, it took forever because we stopped to read every single piece of graffiti. Once we're out on the platform the sun has risen a little bit more and Munich's color's shine brighter. Jo stands gawking at the view.

I grab her by the shoulders to one of the corners of the platform, "come."

I stand behind her and point over her shoulder at a large castle. Above the door is a large elegant booth where wooden puppets stand at the ready."

"This castle, it has these puppets there, you see? They do those little dances on the hour or something like that. Though I don't think they do anymore."

She laughs stupidly. I could almost fall for her. I feel it. The universe drums it into my soul. That somewhere, out there, in a different universe or a different dimension, where the world isn't destroyed and this is just a story, this is a love story. So our banter and friendship builds up to one grand kiss on a tower in Munich. It would be perfect.

We soon find ourselves in a nearby café. Jo's ranting about German coffee and I'm not really following, I'm just kind of laughing at her passion on the subject.

"Seriously, it was like, a thing. They just had coffee. We Austrians, however, we knew how to do coffee. You can't just go into a coffeehouse in Vienna, which by the way was like every second door, and order a goddamn coffee. Like, which goddamn coffee do you want? D'you want a Großer Brauner? Or maybe a Verlängerter? Maybe you're into that fuckin' mozart coffee we had that was like an Irish but better. We had every type of coffee you could imagine. More than Starbucks could ever dream up."

"I believe you."

Walking through Munich from destination to destination is a dream and a nightmare. My stoned little legs can barely carry me and at the same time I feel like I'm floating. We come across an abandoned tram. It's bright blue and old school. We kick at the door until it gives way and we can shove it open. We get into a booth of wooden seats and face each other.

I stare out the window, again observing the abandoned Munich. Empty. Desolate. Dead.

"Do you think this is the end of the world?" I ask.

She shakes her head resolutely, "Mmm, no, the horn."

"What?" I start laughing.

"That goddamn horn or trumpet or whatever. My religious friends wouldn't shut up about it. When the end of the world starts, there's no chance you'll miss it, because a horn will blare so loud every single living creature on the planet will blare."

"Even the deaf ones?"

She shrugs, "I don't fuckin know. Man, that horn used to scare the shit out of me. Still does."

I lose it. I'm laughing so hard my abs hurt, and I have to lean onto the window for support. Her eyes and her face are bright red, and she's giggling too.

"No I'm serious, think about it. You're just minding your own business, going about your day, when suddenly, out of nowhere, this cripplingly loud horn blares. You and all these strangers around you come to the same realization: this is the end. It's over."