T H R E E

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I am three years old and I am small. I'm too small for my age and mommy and dad worry because I hear it all the time because they think I don't understand but I do because I'm too small and I have to not be small, I need to get big.

I seen birds that got bigger because they had a big puffy chest because there is a lot of birds in our yard because we have a lot of trees and I love trees and for the birds it looks like to get bigger they just need to hold their breath and flap their wings around so I do it too and I run around and I trip on a root, dad always complain about the roots when he mow the law but mommy say they can't do anything about it unless they cuts the trees and they don't want to hurt the tree but I hurt myself pretty bad and I see blood and that makes me cry.

Claire is the one that comes see me when I cry and she picks me up and she hold me in her arms but I don't usually let her pick me up. I don't trust her like mommy. She's often at our house. She looks after me when mommy and dad are gone. I hate it when she comes around because when she there that means mommy and dad are not.

Claire carries me back in the house.

"Were you trying to fly earlier? Before you fell?" she asks me when we get to the bathroom and she sits me by the sink and start taking care of my owie and it hurts and I don't like her asking me questions because it feels like she's going to ground me and she's not a real adult so she's not suppose to ground me.

"No, I try to get bigger," I answer and I cross my arms over my chest and I try to stop crying but it hurts me when she touches my knee and I'm sad because I couldn't get bigger and mommy and daddy are going to be disappointed with me and I hate it when they argue and I don't want to stay small if it makes mommy and daddy angry.

"You can't control how big you'll get. You can't decide that."

"Why not."

"Because that's not for you to choose. You can however decide how kind you'll be. And that's a lot more important than how big you'll get."

I don't answer her because I don't care about being kind, I care about being big, but Claire is smiling at me and I don't trust her, she's not my mommy and I don't want her around but when she smiles it's a little bit tiny little bit nice.

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