Bits & Pieces

5

“I’ll take you to get ice cream in a second, Clara,” my dad said. “Let me just help your mom with something real quick, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” I said. I was 4, and I was wearing my big pink Barbie dress. Giggling to myself, I decided to hide behind the door and see if he could find me.

I waited there for what felt like a really long time. It was weird. I could see and hear everything that was going on, but it was like I was watching this past event from above. Maybe I was dead.

“Clara?! Clara?! CLARA?!” I could hear my parents screaming for me, running around the house. Couldn’t they see I was right here?

“Jaime, I’m going to get the neighbors to help look for her! Maybe she’s outside. Keep looking in here,” my mom said, running out of the house.

I laughed quietly. They were so bad at hide-and-seek.

She ran back in a few minutes later, “I’m calling 911!” I could hear her feet pounding on the stairs.

My mom came back downstairs. She walked towards the kitchen, then stopped and walked back a few paces. She finally saw me and let out a gasp that was a mix of surprise, relief, and anger.

*

Someone was shaking me. “Clare? Clara?”

I opened an eye. “Wha?”

Josh sat next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. “You alright, babe? You were tossing and turning and making noises.”

I half-acknowledged the fact that there were no sheets or pillows whatsoever left on the bed. “I-I-oh my God, Josh.”

He pulled me into his chest and smoothed down my hair. “Shh, Clara, don’t cry.”

I realized that I was, in fact, crying, and tried to pull myself together. “But-but-”

“What happened? Did you have a nightmare?”

“I-I remembered something.”

His eyes widened. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

Josh rocked me back and forth in his arms. “It’s okay, Clarie. I’ll sit here for as long as you need me.”

I tried to steady my breathing. It was so overwhelming.

“Shh, Clara, it’s alright. I’m here now.” He stroked my hair comfortingly.

I just laid there for a while in his arms. He didn’t seem to mind. I wasn’t sure if I did or not, but it was nice to have someone next to me. I took a deep breath. “I-I was like 4 and I was wearing my big pink Barbie dress. I hid behind a door and my parents couldn’t find me and they called 911. I woke up just as my mom found me.” I thought for a second. “But I remember past that. She was relieved but so, so mad and she called 911 and told them that she had found me but that they should come anyway since she was going to kill me.”

Josh couldn’t refrain from smiling. “I’m not surprised that that was the first memory you got back. That’s always been one of your favorite stories to tell. But Clara, this is great! You got a memory back, oh my gosh!”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

I suddenly realized how close Josh’s face was to mine. He closed the gap between us and kissed me. I was in such shock that I didn’t even react until he pulled away.

“God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just- I don’t even know.”

“Just-just go, please, Josh.” Didn’t he realize how confused I was already? Here he was kissing me right after he tried to set me up with another guy.