Deadpool's Day Out

Part 8: Operation: Bust Some Fools

New York Harbor
About 20 Minutes Later

I came to in what appeared to be the back of a van. At first I was a little freaked, thinking maybe Tabitha decided to hand me over to some creeper and I was being transported to his secret sex dungeon in his van. But then I looked towards the front and saw Tabitha in the driver's seat. Phew. Crisis averted (this time).

I crawled over the back seat, sneaking behind the driver's seat and whispered in Tabitha's ear "You could've at least buckled me into the back seat."
Clearly I startled her because suddenly she jerked her right arm backwards and punched me in the face.
"Ow! What was that for?!"
"For scaring the shit out of me, you asshole!"
Geez, Tabitha has a real potty mouth when she's scared.

Once I recovered from the sudden punch, I crawled into the front passenger seat and sat down. I still had no clue where we were, so I asked "Where have you taken me now?" "Disney World." Tabitha said sarcastically.
"Damn, and I left my Mickey Mouse ears at home."

I looked out the windshield and saw a crowded dock. Looks like we're at the Harbor.
Gee, you think? The readers already knew that. Thanks for wasting everyone's time.
"I can't help that I keep getting tranquilized by Brown Widow here!"
I yelled at the author while pointing to Tabitha. She looked over at me puzzled.
"Brown Widow?" Shit, I said that last thing out loud, didn't I?
"You know, because of your hair?" Tabitha still looked a little confused, but just said "Oh, okay."

I decided to quickly change the subject.
"So what's the plan? Are we gonna ambush his mules before they deliver the stuff and interrogate them? Can we do it good cop bad cop style? Dibs on bad cop!"

"The plan is we're going to plant a bug on the van and track them. Then once they stop, we'll go to their location and bust Black Bart and cease his whole operation once and for all." Tabitha explained.
I for one was not a big fan of that plan. Watching and waiting? Please! I'm a man of action! And I was about to prove it. "Screw that! I say let's go right now and bust some fools!"

"No you idiot! If we charge right at them they could potentially alert their boss!" Tabitha shouted at me.
"But my plan's more fun!" I whined. "Do I look like I care about fun right now? This is serious! This is-"

I started tuning Tabitha out when in the background I saw two shady looking guys walking towards a black van, duffel bags in tow. Looks like the pick up is going down! Time to act! "Showtime! Pardon me, sweetheart, I've got some skulls to crack!" Tabitha turned towards the black van and quickly caught on to what I was doing.
"No Deadpool, don't charge at them! Abort! Abort!"

I completely ignored her pleas as I kept charging at the two guys, who at this point had just closed the back of their van. With my katanas out in front of me, I yelled out "Charge!" Which allowed the two guys to back away and caused me to run right into a wall. In retrospect it was a dumb idea.

Nevertheless, I got up, dusted myself off, picked up my katanas, and proceeded to confront the bozos. "Alright gentleman, this is how it's going to go down. You're going to tell me and my lovely associate over there where your boss and his HQ are, and in return I won't shove these in an uncomfortable place."

Both men grabbed what appeared to be pill bottles from their pockets, and pulled glowing neon purple capsules out of the bottles. It's the infamous Royal Flush.
Quickly putting two and two together I said "Now boys, it's not considered very professional to partake in your own product. What would your boss say?"

They immediately swallowed the capsules, and a few moments later their eyes started glowing purple, and they were floating. And with creepy smiles on their faces, they started charging at me. Oh how the tables have turned.

Panicking, I started running back to mine and Tabitha's silver van, yelling "Retreat!" I wasn't able to run fast enough, though, because before I even got halfway to the van, one of the guys rammed me and caused me to fly right into the side of it, causing it to rock and creating a good sized dent.

Dazed and on the ground, I weakly shouted "Tabitha! Help! SOS!" She got out of the van and shot her stun guns at the men, causing them to freeze. Unfortunately, it only worked for a few seconds, and once it wore off, the men started coming towards us. Me and Tabitha looked at each other, both of us thinking the same thing: "Oh shit."

Uh oh, things are not looking good. Will our heroes pull through this? Or are they just straight up doomed? Stay tuned for Part 9 to find out! If  you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote. Also, go on ahead and comment, feedback is always appreciated. Thanks for reading, and have a good one!