I sat in bed, knees drawn to my chest. I kept my eyes closed, but flashes of my dream replayed over and over in my mind. I tried to relay it to Tanner or make sense of why this one was different from any standard nightmare.
I am in a mental ward, but I can't move my hands without feeling the restriction of the straps. My head is clear, with no trace of the "madness." I strain against the black polyester with every ounce of my strength, and still, I can't budge. My back hurts from the base of my spine to the tailbone. Saliva pooled in the back of my mouth. I am alone, only hearing my heart pounding, ready to explode. My eyes scanned for signs of someone coming to help. Worn green curtains hang limply on flaking chrome rings and through the gap passers-by pay me no attention.
I am back in my hell; a second analog clock ticks on a nearby wall, each second marked. I need to turn. I need to swallow, and mindless squirming won't help - so I think of watching the show, "24." What would Jack Bauer do? I turned the thumb of my right hand, fold it in as flat as possible and pull, not caring if it dislocates. My hand comes right out, and then I do the same with the left. I can't sit up, for doing so will have me retied too tight for this little trick to work a second time. I pointed my right foot so hard the muscles become painful, and I twist it until it is free, but my left is bound too tight. I turn, bringing relief for my back and more comfortable to swallow.
A nurse comes and says, "Oh, I see they untied you." I agreed and managed a staged smile, she unstraps my last leg, and I turn to my side. I'm sure Bauer would be out of here by now, armed and dangerous, but not me. I'm a pacifist, scared of the "professional care" that leaves me scarred on the inside. The bleach tinctured ward fades, and the nightmare intensifies to the next level.
No longer is the door open. No bright light comes from the hallway. No handle, no way out. Four concrete walls, a linoleum floor, a toilet with no paper and a bare mattress - this "seclusion room" is a prison cell by another name...
"How do I keep going?" I asked as I wiped the tears streaming down my face.
"You have your children and me to think about."
"I know but why was Jace in Fayetteville in the first place? He has to know something," Tanner said, soothing me.
"I can't do it. I can't do it. I have to go back."
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
Angels Of Hope
Любовные романыLettie was a troubled mother that moved hallway across the United States with the help of her best friend, Tanner Rodriguez. She was abused by her husband, Jace. When her kids moved to Fayetteville NC she meet two people, Alexis and Derek. She start...
