The Struggle For Love ✔

Chapter 16 - Confession

"Whatever." I mumble, annoyed because even now that he's supposed to apologize for real, he's not spilling his motives for letting me down.

"Yeah..." Oliver sighs. "I'll tell you, but after practise."

"Why not just now?"

"Because I'm not ready. I want to clear my mind first." Oliver shortly looks at me in the same time I turned to look at him with a deep frown. "Tonight, when I drive you home, okay?"

I shrug, not caring about the fact he probably didn't see me shrug and turn to look out of the side window again. I watch the raindrops hitting the car, the window, the streets we're driving through, allowing myself to remember the night I saw Finnley in the supermarket, and we ended up soaked in his bedroom.

It had been a day prior to us finally getting together. The day before I finally made love to him, showed him my feelings in the most intimate way.

I allow myself to remember how the three of us, Finnley, Oliver and I, sat in the car, Finnley in the brink of confronting Charlie and his parents with the truth.

I allow myself to curse myself for not knowing sooner, years ago even, something terrible happened to him that changed him.

But I shouldn't fuzz over the past, focus on the present, and make sure I'm able to support him to the best of my ability once he's back.

As soon as Oliver and I got out of the car, we separate ways; as if we have an unspoken agreement not to bother each other right now.

Inside the dressing room, I sit down in between Jaimie and Sam, who were laughing over something until I sat down with my frowning face, and Oliver acting grumpy. Almost like he always did when we weren't friends yet. He takes his old spot in between Joshua and Kevin, and dresses up in silence, while I do the same.

I ignore the looks Jaimie and Sam cast our ways, and head outside without waiting for anyone, done with the awkward tension in the dressing room.

"What's up with you?" Sam catches up, pulling me to the side before we reach the field. "I've been trying to reach you all week..."

"I'm just..." I cast my eyes down, my head hanging low. "I'm a bit done right now, Sam."

"Hey, don't give up," Sam tells me, nudging me a bit, forcing me to tilt my head up by using a finger to do so. "I know things are though and it's probably not easy to be around Nathan and Stan right now..."

"How'd you figure out it was about that?"

"I'm not stupid." Sam smirks. "Though I feel like the tension between you and Oliver is a bigger concern right now. You two were thick as thieves and now you're not even talking."

"Nothing new there. We just went back in time a couple of months." I shrug carelessly. "He needs to do whatever he wants and let me do my thing."

"Or, you guys could talk and go back to being friends. He is one of the only people I know that is capable of turning your frown into a smile."

"Well, let him turn Alex' frown into a smile from now on." I grumble annoyed, crossing my arms in a defensive manner.

"O my god, you're jealous!" Sam squeaks out, a sly grin on his face, his elbow nudging me. "I did not see this coming but you totally want Oliver to focus back on you!"

"Wha-what?" How the hell did that one sentence cause him to think I'm jealous? "I'm not jealous! I don't care about them..."

"But you totally do!" Sam laughs in amusement. "Dear god, I know Oliver is considered hot for a guy, I never thought you would fall for him like that."