Always in my heart: The aftermath

I decided to try and improve my angst writing skills, I would love if you wanted to leave me some feedback. I hope you like it!

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Louis sat staring at his phone, the light from the screen illuminating his sunken in features as he takes another drag of the cigarette between his middle and index finger.

He sighed, shaking off the ash from the tip of the burning cig as he scrolled through Twitter with his thumb. The screen was glaring back at him, taunting him, as if it was trying to make him say it out loud.

Always in my heart @ Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis.

It had just become the second most retweeted tweet in the world, short after Ellen Degeneres's Oscars tweet.

Louis didn't know what to say, how to feel, or what he should do for that matter. When he wrote that very tweet all those years ago, he had recently asked Harry to be his boyfriend, to which he had said yes. Those where the olden days, the good days.

Louis locked his phone and discarded it behind him somewhere, not knowing nor caring where it was as he continued to stare out the open window at the star strewn sky above him. With a pang of emotion he remembered all those nights when he and Harry would sit on a rooftop and gaze at those very stars that were above him now. How they had shared their first kiss under those stars, had their first real date outside the X-factor house under those stars, how...

How he  and Harry had lost their virginities to one another under those stars. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. Remembering how Harry had smiled nervously at him, asking every five seconds if he was okay, and how he had looked all dazed out afterwords were like daggers to his poor, weak heart.

Louis closed his eyes for a moment, letting the cool air of the night calm him down, ground him. The distant sound of the traffic worked as a distraction to all the thoughts swimming in his mind, taunting him, trying again and again to drown him in their depths.

He was drowning and this time, there was no one around to pull him up for air. His lifeline had disappeared, leaving him broken, leaving him to try and float on his own.

He and Harry had broken up two years ago, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt still. It was a mutual decision, and kind as he is, Harry had taken the step and ended the relationship for both of their sakes. Harry had been his first love, his only love. He had been Louis's since he was sixteen, he knew that Harry had loved him from the moment they were put in that band, and he had loved him just the same.

Louis felt to his horror how his eyes were tearing up. He closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see how the view of the city below became blurred with unshed tears, that had yet to break free and travel down his cheeks, dusted with stubble that he couldn't be bothered to shave off.

He didn't know why, but the notifications that the tweet had now become the second most retweeted ever, really got to him. It made memories of his baby surface, his Harry.

But the problem was, Harry wasn't his anymore, that thought stung quite a lot, too. Now, he wasn't mad with Harry for breaking up with him, far from. Harry couldn't handle the trouble of always hiding, always pretending to date several different girls a year, couldn't handle being called 'The Womanizer' of the group, when the only girls he'd ever kissed was from when he was still in school. Louis understood that, it was hard on him too.

They had hardly talked since then, both hurting too much when they met the other's eyes. Green and blue were no longer a harmony, but a storm. When the band had gone on a hiatus a year later, both of them went separate ways, doing their own thing.